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April 30, 2007

A divorced, debauched woman

"Hello Mamma...I might have met someone."
"Might have? You have or you have not?"
"I dont know...we are scoping..."
"Has he been married before?" asked my mother over the phone.
"No Ma, he is..."
"Does he have kids?"
"Kids?! I just told you he has never been married...!"
"So what? Why is he interested in you?"
"Because I happen to be..."
"But will he accept you?" continued my mother relentlessly, having mastered the art of interrupting me mid-sentence and mid-thought since the time I have been 13.
"Accept me? Ma, we are just scoping things out. And accept me? I don't understand..."
"At least learn to be practical now. If he has never been married before, does not have kids and is a single, eligible man according to you - why will he accept you? After all, you are just a separated woman now."

'Just a separated woman'. And I thought that virginity was the only criteria a woman had to worry about. Apparently not, according to my mother (and where there's one mother, there're more!) Now it seems, that given my non-virgin and 'just a separated woman' status, my market value in the marriage bazaar has gone down. Damn. But on second thoughts, why? If Aamir Khan can get a (presumably) non-virgin, but never-married-before Kiran Rao, why can't I get a mate — single, unmarried and preferably a non-virgin? Further according to my mother (shrug, mom is always right), the only man "kind enough" to marry me will be one who has been married before (or has kids, whichever comes first).

That apart, seems like even dating rules change once you are single again. Suddenly you are seen as a woman who's looking for stability. Who isn't? But if you are separated/divorced/single again, you are ONLY looking to get married again. You are also supposed to settle for whatever or whoever comes your way. You are also supposed to put longer hours at work because you don't have a "husband to go back to". Or are supposed to have more money to spend because, "it's just you, right?" Or not flirt, date or meet different men because "separated women are easily labelled debauch, so be careful."

And what about separated/divorced/single again women getting on with life and finding some happiness? My mother ponders the question while I listen to the static over STD and finally sighs.
"You have a point there," she says, "Everyone deserves happiness with a partner by their side..."
I was already delirious, my mother was agreeing to something I believed in!
"Oh Ma, there is hope! All is not lost, I will get back, I will be happy, I..."
"But who will accept you?"


Raccoon said...

A very close and VERY (otherwise) eligible friend of mine is a widower and he went through hell just trying to settle down again.

Theres smthing in India about having been married previously which suddenly makes you a persona non grata...even men! He was immensely busy with work so never got to meet women and finally went through the matrimonial website route and it was really sad to see his perfect profile being rejected all the time by the few 'never been marrieds' that he contacted. It was really strange and dumb.

btw, whys this post labelled under 'big breasts'?lol

clit.chatting said...

:) @ Raccoon
you noticed the big breasts! *grin* it was to see if it was noticed in the tag and then was researching some of the search keywords that lead random people to this blog...big breasts was one of them. 'Open clit' was another, but somehow the visuals weren't that enticing...for me. :)

spartacus said...

Hey Eve! You know what? We are all headed to a sad and lonely place where the sex is bad and spread far apart in time. I don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. But I know I'm stocking up with other goodies to keep me company there. Yay! Now only if we figured a way to shut moms up....

gaurav said...

lol...havent u got enuff of a fan followin already...without the tags