How do you maintain a balance at work when you are sleeping with the boss? Do you feel bad if the 'boss' pulls you up for a mistake -- in his professional capacity -- or do dynamics change when there's more to your relationship than professionalism? How do other colleagues react to it? What happens if the boss is already in another relationship or has no intentions of getting into with you: Are you happy being just a shag? What happens when you realise that the boss might be shagging other women too? And what if the boss wants to sleep with you and you aren't too sure if you should?
I mean what is stupider: A woman who sleeps with the boss and feels "used" or a woman who sleeps with the boss expecting exponential gains and then cries foul when there are no gains? Is it prudent to sleep with your boss if there are gains to be achieved, or conversely if you think someone else might take up the offer and you might lose out? I've always had a problem with the casting-couch starlets/neophytes in various industries who first sleep to get ahead and then when things don't really go their way, they start crying. If you have to climb the ladder of success lying down, isn't better to be smarter and ENSURE you get the gains? Hmmm?
Confessions over Coffee: Series
"Should I sleep with my boss?" asked the voice, making one gulp some piping hot coffee. As one waited for the tongue to stop stinging, Friend continued, "My appraisals are due; and from the feelers Boss has been sending my way, I am hoping for a mediocre raise." Re-finding one's voice and tongue, one asked how a mediocre raise translated into sleeping the Boss.
"No, no, you are not getting it. If I respond to those feelers, the raise will be Really Good," Friend explained, "Boss constantly asks me to join him for drinks, messages late at night and has even added me as a friend on Orkut…am his only Orkut-friend in office," she said. One wondered how Boss could manage to be on a social networking site and not be friends with the rest of the office.
"No, no, he created the profile just to be friends with me," Friend elucidated, "No one knows about it, he goes by the name of Hot4U-something… I thought it was flattering and added him on as well." One quickly sipped some more coffee to avoid saying anything at all.
"Are you trying to chicken out of giving me advice?" Friend asked, as her cell phone rang off in the background. Friend put one on hold and answered the call… in one's ear. "That was Boss," Friend announced, "He was asking me out for a movie." One carefully suggested that movies were alwyas nice...
"It's at his place, he has some DVDs," Friend replied, "He thinks I should see more of European movies to get a better understanding of cinema." On asking what European movie her Boss had suggested, Friend replied, "Caligula." One chose sipping and silence again. "So do you think I should sleep with him?" Friend asked. One asked if sleeping with the Boss would get her a 100 per cent raise and a better designation as well.
"Don't be silly," Friend reprimanded one for thinking smart. One was wondering why Friend had bothered to ask at all…
"You see, he is married, might lead to complications later…" Friend announced. Shocked, one asked if she was expecting Hot4Her Boss to fall for her.
"Don't be silly," Friend scolded again, "Just that if I have to be guilty about sleeping with a married man, it might as well be really worth it."
One asked what makes it really worth it? Friend replied, "The CEO, he is married too and sends me feelers as well; so I am thinking…"
(Published March 23, 2007)