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November 13, 2007

You bloody nymphomaniac, you!

This blog is great. (Blush) That was not meant in any self-congratulatory way except to say that at times it amazes me to see how things have changed over the one year of writing here. Was re-reading what I had written around this time of the year in 2006…

At the outset let me clear that what you will read is NOT an invitation for random people/men to message me thinking they could be the answer to the points/questions raised. In simple terms, please do not poke/message with the intention that you could match my passion. This post is not an application; and anyway, the position is taken. The passion has met its match. Hah.

Sex is a funny thing, especially when I think of it in the Indian scenario or particularly the woman-asking-for-sex scenario. Don’t get this post wrong; there are men who are great in bed and men who are not and think they are… This post is about the latter and of course it’s not flattering at all. Those of you with a weak heart or a weak libido, please do not read further.

First up for the women: Please remember that it’s perfectly NORMAL for a girl to want sex, even as much as a guy.

If some random research says that men think of sex every 7 minutes; I bet my arse women think of it as much. And if there is NO research on those figures, it’s perhaps because it would make the men nervous. So if ANY man tells you that it’s abnormal for you (a woman) to want sex as much or ask for it, get rid of him. IF your man calls you a sex maniac or a nymphomaniac BECAUSE you have asked him for sex after a week of no touching; dump him. If you want it every night and your man cannot keep up, there’s nothing wrong with you, you guys are just sexually mismatched. Find another who can!

(Please note: IF your guy has spent 18 hours doing back breaking work or has had a really nasty day with his boss, PLEASE don’t expect him to be Don Juan in bed… it’s normal for a human to be tired! Give him a shoulder rub, let him sleep and self-help!)

For the record, NYMPHOMANIA is when a woman has uncontrollable sexual urges and will sleep with any man to assuage the need.

If you are asking YOUR man for sex or more sex (as be the case), it is NOT being a nymphomaniac. It just means your guy cannot keep up and is trying to make you feel bad by calling you names. Call him a fag in return and walk out (and find a guy who’d rock your insides!)

Much as you – read, the men – would hate me for writing this, most men CANNOT handle a woman with a high libido… or even one with any libido. Confident men are a different ball game; but then, there are more men out there who are scared little boys masquerading as men-in-control and not necessarily alphas.

A woman who is confident and demanding in bed is more likely to wilt an underconfident guy’s willy than engorge it. When I say demanding, I don’t mean someone who asks to be whipped every time you kiss her. By demanding I mean a woman being able to ask for what, how, how many times or how often or when and on what surface she likes it. Most weak men will freak out if they meet such a girl: First they will freak out thanking their luck that they met a woman who likes sex; then they would freak out because they would find it hard to keep up. Or if they can keep up at all, they’d be busy wondering who else the girl has slept with to be “as demanding”.

In the Indian-men-scenario, things get even weirder. If you sleep with an Indian man on the first date (or second, or third or usually at all!), the dude will immediately slot you as fuckable-but-not-marriageable list. Indian men, I say, are good for one-night stands, strictly when they (and you are) drunk though for that’s the only way an India male will be able to hold out for longer. Premature ejaculation is usually congenital in Indian men.

The moment you get into a relationship with an under-confident-masquerading-as-God's-gift-to-womankind guy and think he can satiate you; it’s trouble. As long as such a does not have the responsibility of having to please the woman time and again, he will be the most perfect man; tell him he has to keep up with it and suddenly you have an ill-mannered three-year-old in the body of a 30-year-old. While most men are known to look elsewhere once they ‘get’ a girl – apparently the thrill of the chase is over and Apparently No. 2, ‘variety’ is the spice of life for men – the underconfident men particularly suck in the keeping-up-with-the-passion department.

My mother told me the other day, “You remember, if you give a man everything he wants, he will look elsewhere for more.” And I say that’s bloody confusing. HOW are you supposed to like/love a guy and hold back? And why should you?

I have realized that unless you really are a case of uncontrollable sexual urges – which is a medical thing – it is perfectly normal and natural to want a lot of sex. Some of us are more physical than the others. The trouble starts when you end up with someone who does not match your sexual frequency. Again, somewhere I have realized that no matter how great the sex and the passion; how much sex you have does come down somewhat with life and bills and boss in day-to-day life. Having said that, PLEASE do not hear crap like, “Oh you are an abnormal woman because you want so much sex.”

Do not let anyone make you feel bad about yourself because you like sex. When you DO meet someone who matches your passion and your need (and your rhythm), it will not matter how many times you have sex or who initiates it or who is on top. It will be good and you both will automatically know when it’s time for a quickie and when it’s time for a slow-mo session. AND, no one will call you names.

Please remember that the easiest thing for men to do when threatened by a woman is to undermine that woman’s confidence by saying nasty things: Whether it is comparing you to an ex-girlfriend, saying how your opinions suck or calling you a nymphomaniac. Such a man does not deserve your affection or your body. Find someone who matches you and scream on…

(Thanks god for damn good sex and) Going into flashback mode; this is what was going through my mind in November 2006… and am glad things have turned for the better for me, even though it took a year. Better? Burning bloody hot I say! Heh heh.

Flashback: I am Eve*, passionately afraid (written: November 9, 2006)
If I were to ask you, what's the single, scariest thing about yourself...what would it be? I am scared of my passion. There are no midways, no tempering with me. I have tried. I can only succeed with moderate behaviour for a while, I am passionate about everything I do. If I am not, I wont do it. Can't. It’s a physical impossibility to make myself do something I don't feel passionately about or that which am passionately against. I suffer because of it. Greatly. Stands I take, moves I make, things I do, the way I do them... Many say "if only moderation" was exercised. I don't know that way. But.... I am shying away from the Real Intent of This Post. I think I am abnormal. In bed. No, I don't mean kinky sex or BDSM or anything like that. I mean sheer energy. Please don't laugh. I am scared of sex or starting to be... because I am afraid I will be disappointed…

Read full text: I am Eve*, passionately afraid

November 7, 2007

Wish you a horny Diwali

Umm…. It’s strange, the kind of reactions and responses I got for the previous – Let’s date, mate and fuckin celebrate – blog got; both here as well as on instant messengers and through emails. The ONE thing that was common to almost ALL messages was that everyone responded to the fact that it was a positive post.

A recent-acquaintance-might-turn-friend had said a week or so back, “Why do you always write about the negative things in life?” “I write what I see,” responded me. “But if you SEEK out negative things then those are what you will see! Why don’t you try looking for positive things, maybe then you will also write positive things?”

Well, while I did not consciously ‘look’ for positive things; a huge dose has come my way; and I will not be scared to accept that I am happy. Why should happiness scare me? OHO, I am a pessimist baba, if happy things happen to me I am shit scared that soon something-bad-will-happen. NOW I have decided that yes, something bad might happen -- given that my boss calls me Murphy’s delight, whatever can go wrong with Eve*, will go wrong and then she will outdo herself, is what he says – the bad is NOT going to happen to me.

I LIKE being happy and I am going to hold on to it….and THIS is how I am planning to… the points underneath…Since I have shared a lot with those of you who read me… It’s only right that we be “together” when we get happy too, eh? (Smiles) So well, the wager’s on and here’s what am going to do to BE and REMAIN happy (Cynic mutters “god help us all” under her breath) -->

If you are happy... don't be afraid to show it.Even if it means grinning with all teeth showing and eyes crinkling in pictures.

If you think you like someone, don't be shy. At the most they will say the timing is bad… they could also turn around and pleasantly surprise you.

If you feel s/he might not like you; still give it a try. HOW do you TILL you have not asked them? Unless you’ve killed someone in their family or something!

If someone gives you affection; give it back too... UNLESS it's a stalker. Heh.

If someone says they will like you IF you changed certain things about you, HUG yourself and walk out right then.

You've liked them for how/who they are, they bloody well like you for who you are. Please don’t suffer a jackass, gender irrespective.

If your best friend does not like the guy/girl you like; remember they don’t have to! YOU like the person, remember that, know that; keep liking the person. Unless the person you like was your best friend’s Ex. Then erm, it’s trouble!

And damn… I got to catch a cab…later people! Also, I need to think of more points. Heh. Positive writing is new to me. Hahahaha.

May we all shag in peace…and those who are getting some… get loads. (of cum, as said nasty anonymous)HA HA HA HA HA.

November 6, 2007

Let's mate, date and f*****g celebrate!

Today, one of the lines in my horoscope said: Your pessimistic attitude might be on the rise again; however since you don't know the future, there are equal chances for things turning out right rather than turning out wrong. Hmm.

Tell me something: How bad or tough can it get when two people in any given situation/association/ relationship, REALLY decide to make it work? I have often wondered, and me thinks have written about it earlier too, that I really don't understand why two intelligent, sensitive, like-each-other people cannot have a relationship that lasts or works out. And no, am not talking about walking down the altar. I am talking about being with someone and being happy. I am happy. Eight days and growing happier, but HELL, I am HAPPY. Reason? New person in life. And that's all I am gonna say.

Yes, I did say no more trying etc, but hey... I have also been called a fool, an opportunist and a hopeless romantic at other times. I am simply cognizant of a good thing and cherishing it. Of course I am scared... but if there is no fear, one can get complacent, no?

So you, we, me have been hurt before, the scars remain. "How can you get the strength to try again?" someone else had said sometime back. And I had said, "Because I WANT to." And at times, you want to try because of the person... because they share their warmth, love, affection and softness with you and you want to give back equally and cherish too. But then, if we constantly keep reopening old wounds, do they really ever heal? Perhaps not, some things simply come back or make you more cautious or haunt you for long. However, there could be moments in life, instances and circumstances where you meet people who make it all seem worthwhile. You want to close your eyes, sigh in relief and say, "Ah, I don't have to be on my guard now."

I have a request for all those who might be reading this…. Will you PLEASE treat the person in your life right? It changes so, so many things when there’s someone in your life who… How do I explain it? It simply makes you beam all over the place, feel confident about who you are and can be and makes you a better person. Because you know that there is SOMEONE who likes you for who you are… It’s just SUCH a nice break from trying to count your negativities and figuring how the fuck you can rid yourself of those.

There are the nasty boys and the beastie boys, but nothing beats a man who is GOOD to his woman. I mean how much does it take?

In fact, it’s so SIMPLE being good to another person that I am aghast. It’s like… If it was this easy, WHY was I treated badly? Why do so many take shit, men and women alike? Many need a little appreciation for who they are, what they might do for you, what they mean to you… It doesn’t take too much time. One well-placed comment will make another’s entire day brilliant. “You are very efficient in the kitchen,” he said… and I was glad he noticed. Just glad that cooking for someone was not a wasted effort. Or a lingering glance. Or a casual touch. At times, after a bad day or a tiring day, all you want to do is to be HELD close and take in the other's fragrance and feel yourself rejuvenated. It's just so relieving.

Umm… like I had stopped grinning in my pictures because I thought I looked ugly, in fact I was told so. Suddenly, it does not matter. I can GRIN, show my buckteeth, wink on camera and not give two hoots. Why? Because someone does not mind how I look when I grin. In fact someone finds me gorgeous… G.O.R.G.E.O.U.S. (Say it loud to yourself girl, you are not going to hear it everyday!) It really does not matter then, if the other looks/appreciates someone else…because YOU know what you mean to that person. You feel secure. (Eight days, keep repeating to self woman, eight days) And that's what I try and understand about other men: I guess we all look at someone/something that is appealing, but does it have to be at the cost of making your partner feel inadequate?

I am just overwhelmed. Kindness took it's time to come to me. Somewhere I feel like an abandoned pup that has now been adopted and is now being petted and loved and cuddled and played with and has her tummy scratched. And I want to say THANKYOU… for treating me like a human being.

Man! We ALL crave affection, WHY the fuck don’t we give it around then? And suddenly there is a very scary thought… what if all men DON’T cheat? What if I find someone who doesn’t and who… likes me back? Then?

And I am praying... all those who are hurting out there, lonely, tired, wanting a hug, a little smile, words that say that it's okay to be an idiot... I hope there are at least some moments, even if transitory that make you truly happy. And please, DON'T turn away from those moments because you are scared about what will happen in the Future. You and me, we really don't know.
PS: Long-forgotten voice of tarot reader: “You had a bitter death in your past life. You were an herbalist or had something to do with plants. You fell in love with someone who didn’t belong to your nation; he loved you back too. But he left and you were heartbroken and died lonely and bitter.

Grits teeth. NO. I wont think like this… and anyway, I cannot stop whatever has to unfold, but I can be happy till Armageddon. Am going to get my tummy scratched.