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May 27, 2007

Eve*, and then they said...

He said, “Oh my god, where is the rest of you?”
(Then: She of course will take up space for two.”)

She said, “You look so dried up.”
(Then: “Well, you have always looked well fed.”

He said, “Somalia returned?”
(Then: “You have a sweet tooth?”)

He said, “You used to be voluptuous.”
(Then: Love your bust size.)

He said, “Hahaha, you have no breasts now.”
(Then: “I like your breasts.”) L

She said, “You can be packed in a suitcase and taken.”
(Then: “How can you walk around with those two?”)

He wrote, “There is something deliciously man-handle-able about you.”
(Then: “A woman should have flesh.”)

HE said, “At least look healthy.”
(Then: “Kam khale golu.”)

She said, “Your arse is absolutely flat, na?”
(Then: “Her arse is so big it could balance a tray.”)

She said, “How sad, the glow from your skin is gone?”
(Then: Forever beaming, eh?”)

She said, “Arre, you used to be so nice and golu back then.”
(Then: “Earlier she was sexy and hot, now she is married and fat.”)

He said, “You know, you were ‘better’ when you were rounder.”
(Then: “Will you do a gym-wear shoot, without undergarments?”)

She said, “You should have seen her earlier, she was all curves.”
(Then: “Where is that chubby trouble?”)

She said, “Madam, your face skin has become looj.”
(Then: “Stop it now, don’t spread out so much.”)

I had always thought my face was ‘round’ till recently. It took me a while to figure out my facial angles on camera. Earlier – hahaha – I had to suck my cheeks in to ‘bring’ out my cheekbones. Women at the salon would refuse to give me an eyebrow arch saying arched brows would look out of place on an absolutely round face. My nose looked rounder too! And I had stubby fingers. And really jiggly arms. And my breasts! Oh god, no matter how much I tried, no cleavage looked classy. Even the tiniest inch glared. And the cellulite! They were little pick-me-up handles on my flanks. And buying jeans was a pain…according to the arse size the length would be longer and then a boot-cut wouldn’t remain a boot-cut because the boot, the cut and half the knee had to be chopped off to accommodate my height. I didn’t know my hip bones were fucking sexy. I didn’t know I HAD hip bones. They didn’t make string bikinis in my size. Bras had to have thick straps for support. And yet dancing was made difficult because no support yet has been built to prevent heavy boobs from jiggling.

So… it’s very weird. I am just constantly bewildered: What????!!! So when I look at myself in the mirror, it can take a little readjusting to see everything shrunk by four inches. But for all that everyone has to say about the "oh so cute chubby me", I don't really miss her. Now I can perhaps say "shut the fuck up"...then I took it. Yet, now i am dried up, anorexic, look bad, dont have boobs. WTF? It's my weight either way and I can carry it around. So why don't people stop talking out of their arses and just mind their own business, and weights?


Raccoon said...

so what happened along the way? liposuction?

you should do a before and after photofeature.

Sunny said...

my weight also swings like a pendulum, and the one thing i have come to realise, it that ultimately you have to happy with yourself. You will never please everyone. Trust me, i am being as blunt as possible.

VarmaJi ke jalwe said...

Kilos and me - we have a long history... I don't think we can exist without each other any more. Several attempts were made and fizzled out. Our attachment is too strong. We will never be parted, not even in death.

Maybe I should envy stories like yours and people like you. :-D


Eve* aka JBo said...

people like me used to kill themselves cycling at 6 am in frigging amritsar cold. nothing happened. then gave up eating all i loved. nothing happened and even breathing added the kilos.
liposuction didnt happen though... but heartbreak, unplanned starvation due to no money (had to change houses too many times and not out of choice) and two physical beatings... i lost the weight because i lost my mind... and beliefs and love and faith in humanity. WHY would u want that? And envy for what? NOw people call me skinny and emaciated and bitchy chicks point to my boobs and say i have none. ah and the stretch marks...either side of the fence, it does NOT change.
Look whoever in the eye and tell them if you can walk on your two feet -- and unless they want your feet in their face -- they better shut up.

VarmaJi ke jalwe said...

Well, given that I went through it all - starvation (not because of shifting houses, but, well, diets), heartbreak/heartache but have retained my poundage, I can still respect (all right, not envy) the fact that you lost yours. For me, losing weight has been my Hundred-Years War, my Battle of the Bulge. So anyone who manages it, irrespective of how, gets my admiration.

At the end of the day, they don't make clothes my size... the kinds I like, anyway. And there ARE things that come easier and better to slim people. So being that way remains my ideal :-)

BTW, breasts? Are over-rated. No thumb-rule or bench-marks for them, just what you like.