The virgin or the whore?

Confessions Over Coffee: Series (republished and then some...)

If you ever want to loosen someone's tongue, don't give them alcohol; give them caffeine. Conversations over cups of coffee can be amazingly candid: Last night's orgasms, this morning's fight with the cabbie/autorickshaw driver, the mandatory discussion about the dead social scene, the usual ruing of no time for play and the caffeinated confessions.

As he sipped her steaming black filter coffee Friend declared, "Every man's fantasy is to have either the virgin or the whore. A man wants a virgin, who doesn't know much or anything, so he can bring her up the way he wants to… and a whore because she would know all the moves."

Friend was currently single and one wondered if his solo status was (perhaps) caused by the lack of virgins or the whores. One also wondered if the male fascination with virgins — and the emphasis on "doesn't know much or anything" — meant that men preferred younger women. The straight-out-of-college (or in college!) type. Friend didn't agree and insisted that all virgins are not necessarily young.

So what have you? A 30-year-old virginal woman, who by the definition of the word is also supposedly naïve. A tad preposterous, no? "Absolutely not," averred Friend and declared virginity was not a psychological problem. Some women (even) chose to remain virgins for "good reasons", like wanting to wait till marriage or waiting for the right man. Ah, so by that logic any woman — or women — who chooses to lose her virginity, is doing so for "bad reasons" and is therefore a whore?

"That's taking it too literally," complained Friend, "a whore is a woman who…"
"Knows all the moves?"
"Yes, but she's also someone who has had a number of men," he replied."
Maybe that's how she knows how to please a man, all the moves?" one volunteered.
"Exactly! She's been with too many men and will usually compare!" replied Friend, with his best I-rest-my-case look.

And any comparison with another man is a delicate issue where most men are concerned.

Hmmm. So basically, a woman's virginity is a sign she does not have Benchmarks of Performance for her man. And the entire thing of "saving yourself" for someone special is really a futile exercise in preventing performance anxiety in men (or a man, in the virginal scenario). Ah.

Just as one was beginning to gloat over this revelation, Friend interrupted…"And then of course, whether they fantasise about a whore or not; a man will never marry a whore. Maybe the virgin, but never the whore."Ah.

And to think that every whore was a virgin once…

(Taken from an older blog, which has now been un-published. Wrote the coffee-confessions as a column for a paper; before I started receiving let's-go-for-drinks emails from a head honcho in the company, which I couldn't attend and was suddenly asked to stop writing. Suits me fine, shall keep my legs and my mind closed to such people. And will remember. Every bitch has her day, I shall have mine too. Sooner than later.)