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March 15, 2008

A lay in time saves the swine

Confessions over Coffee
And you always wondered HOW men find it SO easy to get over broken hearts (yours) and relationships?

I kept waiting for him to make up his mind... to dump me!" wailed Distraught Friend, recently broken up and wallowing in Lonely On Valentine's Day blues. With a force that threatened to break the cup, she beat the sugar and coffee into a frothy frenzy, "While I can't get him out of my mind, he's busy screwing around," she said, sobbing into the cup. As one wondered if the tears-adulterated-caffeine would still taste the same, Distraught Friend asked, "How is it that men can get-over someone easily while women take longer or can't?"

Indeed, one couldn't help but agree: All the how-could-he-do-this-to-me calls, why-did-it-have-to-end-like-this emails and I-can't-think-of-another-person situations involved women friends. Most male friends usually forget to update on their relationship status – recently started or recently dumped – till about a month later or so. Unless of course the relationship is either with something that comes on wheels or runs on electricity or can be kept in their pockets.

While pondering this man-woman difference in enthusiasm levels vis-a-vis relationships, one suggested ways to enable Friend to un-distraught herself. But the entire Find A New Direction exercise was proving futile: Scrabble was cruel, Solitaire was too literal, she didn't have a Need for Speed and salsa of course needed a dancing partner. After much cajoling-convincing, Friend finally agreed to the last suggestion: A blind date on Valentine's Evening.

One hoped things would turn out well... till Friend called, hours before the said date, clearly more distraught. "What should I wear? Should I dress-up or dress down? What if we don't have anything to talk about? What if he does not like where we go? What if he does not find me cute? What if I can't handle the idea of being interested in another man? What if he tries to kiss me and I start crying or something?" she rallied. The last question was particularly worrisome. Whether a blind date or otherwise, anything goes on the first date – even sex – but not crying! Anyone will tell you that most men are more scared of constant tears than instant commitment.

As one wondered anew on what makes it SO tough for women to get over relationships, Player Pal called to casually inform he had broken up yet again and was well on the road to recovery. Apparently he had found the perfect way to get over girlfriend(s) and it had nothing to do with emotional attachment, being patient or with waiting for love, etc. Player Pal scoffed at all that and said, "Why wait around when you can fuck around?" His mantra for getting over breakups? "Screw the brains out of other women to get a particular woman out of your brain."

PS: Sorry girls, if you have recently broken up or still getting over and wondering if He will be screwing around with other chicks, the answer is Yes, he will. The longer you think about it, the worse you will feel. And no, hiding indoors and taking yourself out of the social circuit will only be detrimental to your health. Get out, hit out, find your lay(s) and move on with life. Of course you COULD get lucky in love again; but are you willing to take that risk? There's no guarantee of returns you know...


Anonymous said...

so rightly said!!!

Banarasi Chinky ^^ said...

well, it rather seems that your are rather biased towards women. Not all men shag around, not all men are insensitive assholes nor do they enjoy the pangs of breakups.
I for one have been called "over-sensitive" by the "sexually liberated" eloquent but angelic picture of women you portray.
Not that i am a chauvinist nor i intend to be one.
But i have had a fair share of manipulative crude women in my short span of life.
Lets just say that we all make mistakes. And both male/female genders are plagued by their inherent fallacies.
"Love conquers all."
Lets just believe in that for a while.
Albeit retarded and lame it sounds.
p.p.s Really "amusing" post titles

Banarasi Chinky ^^ said...

Although i do agree that india on a whole does have more(if not too much) than its share of 'potential' rapists!
Minus the social/legal deterrents, all hell will break loose for women.