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March 4, 2008

Why ugly men get to shag pretty women...

Has anyone noticed how weddings and common cold are similar? Both are contagious and seem to be affected by weather change. Nothing else explains how suddenly most people one knows are either sniffling or sending out wedding invites. Perhaps it's the biological clock.

The first announcement was sitting in my inbox with the subject line jubilantly declaring, “I am getting married people!” A week back the same friend was single and mingling. Before one could react to that news, another friend called and declared she had a marriage proposal and was “seriously thinking” about it. Again, in a week from having no suitors she was suddenly thinking matrimony.

In the course of describing how their sudden decision to tie the knot had come about, both friends declared, “I am very happy. But the guy is not very good looking,” and then somewhat defensively, “but he’s a sweetheart.” Congratulations later and having seen their to-be spouse’s pictures, one realized that both girls – despite being downright stunning to look at – were marrying men who were rather plain. It reminded one of an old adage, “Langoor ke moonh mein angoor.” (not literal, but hints at the monkey eating the caviar!)

Now a recent study by Columbia University suggested that good-looking people prefer to date equally good-looking people, at times even people who are better looking than themselves. Yet here were two of my very good-looking friends settling for rather plain men.
It’s not just my friends either. Many celeb couples too seem to follow the norm of pretty-woman-average-bloke: Ajay Devgan-Kajol, Azharuddin-Sangeeta Bijlani, Priyanka Gandhi-Robert Vadra, SRK-Gauri Khan (he wasn’t a superstar then!), Juhi Chawla-Jai Mehta, or for that matter Dennis Rodman-Madonna (those two would have hideous kids)… Since these were all love marriages one could perhaps say love perhaps is blind. Both my friends however are going in for arranged marriages and love is nowhere in the picture.

Jog your memories dear readers and tell me, how many times have you heard someone comment, “She is not pretty at all, how did she manage such a hot husband?” Or the other way round, “Look at him, he’s not good looking at all, how did he get himself such a beautiful wife?”
Several conversations and some research later one found that indeed the popularly held belief was: Ugly (or not-so-good-looking) men bag the prettiest girls. But is it really true?

Before you read further, tell me what you think:
1. How important are looks when it comes to finding a suitable partner?
2. Do good-looking people have better chances of finding love or a spouse?
3. ‘Plain’ people have good-looking partners: Myth or reality?

read further: What's he got that I ain't got?


Itchingtowrite said...

opposites attract- like poles repel!! nature balances i guess!
contextual to the examples that u hav listed- probably it is the charisma of success in the case of azhar, SRk does have the gift of the gab, I don't know abt robert but ajay devgan has the muscle man charisma...one doesn't know what factor attracts a man or a woman to the opposite sex. in the case of arranged marriages, at som point of time, a person compromises on the looks, either they hav run out of choice or they hav other factors that weigh more than just looks! i often ask myself what did my hubby see in me. he is the good looking one and i ned to take an effort to look presentable

Eve* aka JB said...

tchy! goodmorning...
what your husband "saw" in you...was a woman who would stand by him, a woman he likes looking at everyday, a woman who would accept him for whoever or whatever he is and someone who when he is 70years old will give him the satisfaction of looking back at a life well lived. THATS what....BIG hug... Please remember that MOST men -- goodlooking or not -- marry a woman they see a future with and not just someone who he will need to upgrade in 10 years! My Partner too is very good looking and i KNOW that in another five years i'll probably be worrying about him and pretty young things...currently gravity is on my side..however, i KNOW why he loves me. :) Because me, just like you, am a good woman.

Shady said...

So if ain't got a stunning hot wife I am not ugly Enough ?

1. How important are looks when it comes to finding a suitable partner?

Looks are somewhat important , Money is Most important

2. Do good-looking people have better chances of finding love or a spouse?

Yeah sure do , I never heard a women complain about a good looking husband

3. ‘Plain’ people have good-looking partners: Myth or reality?

Myth as it gets highlighted more than good looking people getting good looking people.

Eve* aka JB said...

Shady! lol @ "So if ain't got a stunning hot wife I am not ugly Enough ?"

Guess if beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, "ugly" too lies in the eyes of the beholder...and a VERY important factor is ALSO what kind of a person you are. As far as I know...you are a rather funny one! Agree to money and most cases of pretty chicks-plain guys is perhaps the money... who knows for sure? As for good-lookin-with-good-looking, perhaps you are right. Then of course the man will go and cheat. bwahaha

Eve* aka JB said...

Oh yes Shady...perhaps you aint rich enough? Considered that. Grin.

the mad momma said...

well the OA's cute and i am not - its the opposite for us now!!!!

Eve* aka JB said...

Momma darling...you need to change that mirror of yours. The last i saw, which wasnt too long back, you're bloody cute! Seen that smile of yours. AND LOVED those pics of you and firebrand Bean...i SWEAR it took me a minute to realise i was looking at BOTH of you instead of just her. its when Partner pointed out that some pics were in b/w and others in colour that i realised. bless genetics! :D

Anonymous said...

Sure people who are PREDICTIBLY and by popluar standards of beauty do have a better chance of finding spouses...tell me about it...

Looks are important if they are a part of the whole package, if you are marrying a guy who looks like shahid kapur and that is the MAIN reason for your marrying him, you are definitely not mature enough to marry any one!
But having said that maybe i find XYZ super HAWT and you might roll your eyes at that...so...and your hot might be my ewww...please...so where does that leave us?
I seriously doubt if ANYONE given a choice would marry a person she/he were repelled by...
well if you are marrying for money, social security, parental pressure blah blah then this question is redundant anyway...no?


Maxine said...

SRK n Gauri Khan,I adore.He despite being the super star n all has to constantly watch out on not loosing her in anyway.lol.And I love that.She on the other hand is gracefully attached to her man.

And I cant seem to answer your questions :(

Jappy Boy/Man said...

Hey JBO,
I was reading this book called "Why is sex fun" by Jared Diamond (no its not about sleaze but a book about the evolution of human sex give it a read when you get the time). Kristen Hawkes of the University of Utah an Anthropologist conducted a similar study in The Northern Ache of Tanzania. She studied the behaviour of a predominantly hunter gather community. She classifies men as the provider type and the show off type. There is the provider who is not really a trophy husband who is considered to be a safer bet as a life partner. whereas the show off kind ( a trophy husband/boy frined) is generally regarded as a good option for a fling or an extra marital affair. I dont think I have done justice to the work by summarising it but it actually gives you a reason for a lot of things we take for granted in ourselves and our partners

Amin Ali said...

these are the examples that are the inspiration, a false hope we all ugly fellows live in that one day a prince charming or a beautiful lady would have mercy on we ugly duclings and it would be a happy life after....but alas in reality we see matches like Salman Katrina, Angelina Bradd, Hrithik Susanne...So while we may settle for pretty woman..the prettiest would always be out of reach and she will only settle for even 'prettier' partner if not less.

IR said...

looks matter more for men than for women , but i guess money / potential for future success overpowers everything else !