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March 10, 2008

Eight, mate or ate?

This is a tag from Point Blank. As this could get rather wordy, other than the ‘passion’ section, keeping the other bits short.

Spinning, laughing, dancing to
Her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
Is all alone

Eight things I am passionate about:
1. Words: Reading them, writing them and getting people to react to them. If it weren’t for words, there would be no me. Started reading at one-and-a-half-years and was writing gobbledeegook by age 4. First ever diary entry was at age 11, first published words at 17.

2. Winning: Realised long time back that I have something called the competitive spirit and that usually I like having my way. No, I dont always win but I bloody well insist on losing as little as possible

3. Ego: Considered calling this one ‘self-esteem’, but let’s be honest here, it’s not always that. I do have a big ego (for better or worse) and I usually like to keep it intact. Means I can get defensive, offensive or pensive when my ego suffers in any way.

4. Flattery: I don’t do it and I simply cannot stand it. People/women who have a need to instantly start flattering when they meet another person/woman they meet, instantly piss me off. My cardinal rule for knowing/ analyzing/understanding people in the first instant: If they flatter you instantly, watch your back. Then there are compliments: Have always had a hard time believing them. Perhaps because 90 % of the time I can tell when they’re fake.

5. My home: Is my sanctuary where I can roam around naked. Or not bathe for two days. Love changing room settings and redoing interiors on whims. Protect it zealously and preserve it as if my life depended on it. And it does too… Not the sort to constantly have people over, perhaps because I find it tough to really make friends. Or maybe because others find it tougher befriending me. Shrug. Would say my space defines me.

6. Vengeance: I cannot forget and I don’t forgive, took me time to realize that about myself. With passing years I am learning how to wait. Am not very good at ‘plotting’ revenge etc; perhaps because I lack the patience, or the brains or both. But am good at recognizing opportunity: If I have been fucked-over and I get the chance to get back, I will. Strangely, life seems to place the opportunities on a platter for me. Might take 10 years but then I do have a sordid memory.

7. Family: And those adopted into it. Don’t touch them, don’t criticize them, don’t even think of harming them. Refer to point no. 6 of what happens if… As I am aware of my fallacies, so am aware of the fallacies of the ones who love me as well. But I love them. Tenderly, fiercely.

8. Honesty: Prefer to take a harsh truth on the face than be stabbed in the back or lied to. The downside? Inability to keep my mouth shut in some situations and the complete lack of ‘social skills’ like talking to people I don’t like. If I don’t like, it shows. Also translates into a complete apathy for anything fake, particular those who ‘pretend’ to be friends. Not a good way to live, the world is made of social networking after all. Hmm.

Eight things I want to do before I die:
1. Bungee jump: to combat fear of heights. Once I do that, perhaps sky diving too.
2. Own a personalized Chopper, my size, my height, evil wheels and power to kill.
3. Have a baby: No confusion there. I know I want to be a mother and despite the fears, think I will make a helluva mom.
4. Go on a global backpacking trip: To places unknown, where I live with the people, get to know their ways of life, click pictures…
5. Open a restaurant or a café or something to do with food: Could have been on the ‘passions’ list, love to cook and the more to feed, the more I enjoy it.
6. Work for myself: And stop taking orders, create something, make it a success and of course make money from it. Probably something to do with food…
7. Marry… and make it work and not have doubts and be loved without reasons or clauses or me changing myself or me wanting to change the other. Marry and not feel the threat or the fear that I will die lonely…
8. Do something that will make my parents truly happy: Perhaps I have let them down, lord knows I am not the model daughter. They aren’t the traveling sort else would have sent them on a world trip… perhaps will figure out finally what can make them happy. I still don’t know and sometimes feel that perhaps I don’t make them happy or happy enough. (Lose that doubt too)

Eight things I say often:
1. Fuckin’ a!
2. Are you getting what I am saying?
3. Get them by the balls and their hearts and minds will follow.
4. You shithead.
5. Fuck off.
6. “Right. My arse.”
7. I swear if I have to…
8. Bloody hell

Eight books I’ve read recently:
1. Sun Tzu Was A Sissy (Stanley Bing)
2. A Dog’s Life (Peter Mayle)
3. Hotel Pastis (Peter Mayle)
4. Non-Fiction (Chuck Palahniuk)
5. The Unwaba Revelations (Samit Basu)
6. The Ice Man: Confessions of a Contract Killer (reading, Philip Carlo)
7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (re-read, JK Rowling)
8. The Vampire Lestat (re-rehoad, Anne Rice)

Eight songs I could listen to, over and over:
1. Pal, pal dil ke paas tum rahti ho: Kishore Kumar
2. With a little help from friends: Joe Cocker
3. Isn’t it ironic: Alanis Morisette
4. Ali: Midival Punditz
5. Na tum humein jaano: Hemant Kumar
6. I’m Your Man: Leonard Cohen
7. Man who sold the world: Nirvana
8. Seven Years: Norah Jones

Eight things that attracts me to my best friends:
1. They don’t get embarrassed by who I am or the things I keep doing and don't mince words telling me when I am behaving like a shit-head.
2. They are all highly intelligent and know it (know how to use it too)... and ambitious.
3. They understand my need to be vicious at times and understand/enjoy a good dose of sarcasm.
4. They laugh at my sarcasm but can put me in my place when I get too nasty; and usually have a mean sense of humour themselves.
5. They let me cry in peace and don’t do the you-poor-thing thing; they aren't shy of tears.
6. They know when I need to be held when I am crying; and usually believe in physical demonstrations of affection.
7. They leave me alone when I am angry. They know I’ll come back. Most of them are patient though
8. They REALLY do love me and know I will never betray them.

Eight people I think should do this tag (some might not be bloggers):
1. DJ*
2. Maxine
3. Serendipity
4. Pirate of the Arabian
5. Crimson Feet
6. Espera
7. The Unapologetic Bloke
8. Lopa*


Pointblank said...

heyyyy1 u did it! u did it! But flattery?? u dont like it, so how do u actually put it under passion?!?!?

anyways, it made a good read. And this is no flattery, i mean it ;) Ur right on top of my fav list!

Maxine said...

Eight things I am passionate about:

1.Neembu Pani(Lime juice):I wish to see another generation passionately,
fashionably drinking lime juice.

2.Home: A place to be.To just relax,love and be myself.
Decorating the place like in a dream.Sound of waterfall,lots of green,art works,buddha,fresh flowers,peace.Kids running around and messing it up
,aarrg, and then re-arranging.(most of these in future though)

3.People I love: Very few.But I do.And will stupidly or sometimes intelligently do anything to make sure they are okay.

4.Honesty:erm...no,not copying.Have got into trouble by being honest.
But cannot live in lie.Also, now, can shutup forever than saying a truth that shouldnt be said.
(if i know it shouldnt be said)hmm.

5.Poetry:Actually had forgotten for ages that I am passionate about poetry.Wrote my first poem at age 6 or 8.Then have written a few during college days.Now after so many years "a good samaritan's" influence took me to poetry yet again.

6.The Himalayas:Been calling me forever.Have to go find out.

7.Reading blog(s):New in list.Reasons we all know.

8.Anger: That which comes out well worded is fine.But that stays inside and built over time is pain.Might just bring me down someday.

Eight things I want to do before I die:

1.Start a business and be successful.
2.Get a divorce.
3.Do something for children which is related to books,like open a library or something.
Have already started collecting books.
4.When #1 is fulfilled,roam around the world with MY money.
5.Have a friend with whom I could fall in love with,but wont.
6.Work for the United Nations or see the UN building from outside.
7.Become a yoga teacher.Seem too much right now, but will get there.
8.Learn to swim and go sailing.

Eight things I say often:
5.(My kids name)
6.I love you too.(to my child)
7.oh shit.oh fuck.(usually says it to self in a hushed tone.the pains of being a mother)
8.give me strength.(mostly like a prayer)

Eight books I’ve read recently:

Cant remember.Not much of a reader these days.Took some books
recently to read,but got bored and never opened.

Eight songs I could listen to, over and over:
1.You're beautiful
2.I believe I can fly
3.Hey there dellilah
4.hmm.pal pal dil ke paas.And one time there was this girl
who absolutely loved this song and guess what happened when me and
her went for a drive.lol.At the end,got knocked out by the song.
5.Jab deep jale aana
6.Hoton se chulo tum mera geet amar kardo
7.Chookar mere mann ko kiya tu ne kya ishara
8.Tum bin jiya jaaye kaise

Eight things that attracts me to my best friends:

hmm.Its been so long, the easiness of being with a friend.
In current social situation,I can perhaps write 8 things that keep people away from me.

Thanks Eve.This was a look into self.Takecare.

Eve* aka jb said...

Maxine, your honesty is stark. hug
Point Blank: thought about the passion list for a while and then decided to interpret it as what i am passionately against as well. :)

avijit bakshi said...

There was the legend of an American Indian hunter who could bring down a deer with every cast of his spear, with every arrow he let fly from his bow. He never missed. Ever. He was infallible. Soon however the joy of the hunt went out of him. Because every time he cast his spear he knew it would hit its mark, he knew for a certainty if the spear left his hand a deer or a bison would come down. It was a given. There was no sense of achievment, there was no sense of effort, there was nothing except the dull monotony of certainty even if it was the certainty of victory of winning over every other brave from his tribe. Ultimately his despair, in the story, lead him to kill himself. (You can catch the story sometime on hallmark)

Vengence never makes you a winner.

Just a suggestion: people can take care of themselves. They did before you knew them. And they will after you go away, should you go away. People don't need defending unless they ask you to defend them.

The honest truth? Whose honest truth? Yours? mine? the neighbour's? And if they are different whose is the real honest truth? Kurosawa's Roshomon?

Eve* aka jb said...

Advice = that thing that you really dont want to know or care about and people think they have a right to give.

Me = the person you are and who never needs approvals or justifications to be.

avijit bakshi said...

Right. As usual.

Anonymous said...

From last few days I have been sitting and reading your blog. All I can say is that you are frustrated with life - you have started to see it with the most pessimistic point of view - you are not making even a single effort to change it - but you are blaming every part of it..!! Life just isn't the way you describe - But there is lot more than you think in this blog..!!