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March 17, 2008

No blow, no show...

"Happy Women's Day," announced Friend as she walked in jauntily. Her mood belied her early morning mysterious message: 'Meet me, I have realized the Truth About Me.' One has always been intrigued by Truths that people discover after 28-or-so years of walking around thinking something else.

So far, all one has discovered is that hair loss, crow's feet and papery skin are truths no one can escape and that it irritates more when you see the Partner looking at your well-concealed bald patch. And here was Friend, who was at least four years younger than me; discovering truths.

Experience said that women usually discovered truths about themselves when they were either about to dump a guy or had recently discovered their guy was having an affair elsewhere. As one wondered if this self-discovery had anything to do with the new man Friend had recently started dating -- to get over another man -- and perhaps if she had finally found true love...

"I finally know what I want in my man," declared Friend, carefully sipping her Irish coffee, rattling off her list. "He has to earn more than me and be willing to spend it on me. He should make me laugh but not repeat the same jokes. He should take me shopping and let me shop for him as well. He should be a family man but should have his family living far away. He should be able to control me but let me wrap him around my little finger. He should be great in bed but should not insist on blow…" At that point one blew into one's creamy, cold latte and nearly choked on the cherry as well.

As one wondered if it wasn't rather selfish, wanting good-in-bed and no-blow in the same man, Friend interrupted, "Oh, I am also dumping Recent Boyfriend." One calculated that Recent Boyfriend had only been a month-recent and from memory, he was "as close to perfect" according to a then-in-love Friend. One also pointed out that from her list of what-I-want-in-a-man, Recent Boyfriend seemed to score in every way. As one repeated the list, Friend's face fell.
One wondered if the reason for breakup was perhaps the blow hot/cold issue…

"That's not it," said Friend, "Recent Boyfriend is almost everything I want, but…There is SOMETHING missing," replied Friend. One rattled off her entire list again and insisted there was nothing on the list that read 'Something'. Friend, now with a distant dreamy look in her eyes, said, "I know what I want in a man… it's that Something…"
And pray, what was that 'Something', one insisted.
"I don't know," replied Friend.
PS: We seek what we cannot get, and we get what we do not seek?

1 comments:

Lucifer said...

But — Oh! ye lords of ladies intellectual,
Inform us truly, have they not hen-peck'd you all?