Holi Mess!

Hello hello…a very Happy Holi to all of you…even those who have no clue about ‘Holi’. This is our version of mud-wrestling, the Spanish tomato festival or simply put, getting down and dirty. Just that we do it with colours – preferably ones that leave you with pink or green or even purple ears for the next week or so – and plaster each other with all shades that stick.

My dad used to call Holi a ‘dirty’ festival because he reckoned that men used the fest as a way of feeling up women. Well, there’s no harm in that I say if it’s someone you really want to be felt up by. Grin.

Holi is also the festival where you can get everyone officially drunk on bhang (extract of Cannabis sativa, aka hemp). You can drink it in milk (called ‘thandai’, literally means cool), you can eat it in pakoras (veggies fried in a gram flour batter), you can kill yourself with laddoos (round, sweetmeats stuffed with bhang) and as some friends are planning, you can make a mozzarella pizza and use bhang instead of oregano for garnish. The result is the same: On mild amounts you crack up and laugh maniacally for hours, with slightly more you pass out and with shit loads in your system, you can get a paranoia attack.

It’s sensible to drinking/having sensible amounts and laughing your head off. Holi is also interesting as this is the festival to let all barriers of decorum fall. Shy housewives, mother in laws and even strict fathers to pretty girls usually let their guard down and let people mingle, get stoned or drunk and have some fun.

Yes, you can get very dirty. The best trick is to step out slathered with oil, so that whatever colour you get can easily be washed off. Also, as long as you don’t get the colour in your eyes or mouth, you’d be bloody fine. If someone is coming at you with colours or a water gun, it’s prudent to shut both your eyes and your mouth. And get them back! Wearing white is fashionable, but girls should be mindful of not wearing white that’s transparent. Unless that is what you’re planning.

Now I gotta go… wish you all a very happy holi... and it's bloody great that we can do this in India.. officially throw water balloons at people and not get sued for it. What a place to be. Sigh.
PS: The pic's from last year... what fuckin' fun!