*NEW* Recent blog entries

January 22, 2008

The Potty Survey

Please mention your age and sex while answering: It's absolutely imperative that everyone or as many respond on this one!!! No judgments will be made on your answers! :D
And wish you happy potty everyday.

1. When do you go for your daily potty?
a. the moment I get up, I run for the loo
b. only after my first cup of coffee/tea
c. only once I have read the morning news
d. I am on call, anytime, anywhere

2. How long is your potty-time?
a. As quickly as I can get it all out
b. About 20 minutes, I also pray inside
c. As long as it takes to read the newspaper, front to back
d. An hour or so, till I don’t finish two chapters of the book am reading

3. Do you read while you are doing potty?
a. What rot, no, it’s a toilet, not a reading room
b. No I cant, the stink kills me
c. Of course, cant move the shit till I don’t read some shit
d. Of course, I call it utilizing my time bettere.
e. Unfortunately not, reading on Indian-style toilets is tough

4. do you know people who read during their daily potty?
a. No please, I don’t notice others’ potty habits
b. Yes, all men I know read during potty
c. No, but I know people who meditate
d. Please, am a woman, women don’t read during potty

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

1 a.
2 a.
3 d. but no strong views.
4.b. most men but not all.

Anonymous said...

-
btw, above is my comment. the real anonymous comment.
ps - haven't posted in a long long time. so don't know who the other anonymouses are.

ok.

Asheesh said...

1 b
2 c
3 d
4 a

Anamika said...

That's an amusing survey!

1 d.
2a/b (depends on quality of reading material available).
3d.
4b (why just all men? several women too)

Anonymous said...

b
a (most of the time it matches the time needed to smoke a cigarette)
d
b (and not just men)


:)
aditi

Anonymous said...

A woman's point of view... Well atleast mine :)

1 d
2 a/b (depends on what I m reading)
3 d
4 b (several women too)

- K

Opaline said...

Haha, potty survey!

1 d.
2 d. But it does'nt take me that long to read a chapter or two.
3 c.
4 b. Many women too.

anuj said...

1.a
2.a
3.a
4.b (some I know abt ..nt all ..some who declare it by themselves :D)

Maxine said...

lol whats gonna happen to all of us after this???
Age-25 err..ok 28 is sexy age ;) Sex -Female

1. C (usually).(depending on the previous night,a)
2. a
3. d (thts when i get my quick fashion tips)
4. b (not ALL.but few.for eg,siblings,partner etc)

Eve should take the survey too.What say?

Maxine said...

I take that back.Since you were on TV and all others here.., not.

But send me an email,pls.

Jappy Boy/Man said...

well here goes Am a 28 year old male
1) A
2) B (also depends on the food I had the previous day I always wish it was A)
3) A (I am almost half asleep when you know when the kids get dropped off to school)
4) C

well there are some terms if you do the potty in the office found it on yahoo answers some of them are hillarious. An essential guide if you answered D to the first question
How to POO at work

Weve all been there but dont like to admit it. Weve all
kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something
brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves
otherwise, the WORK POO is inevitable. For those who hate
pooing at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking
a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the
smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but
doesnt know where it came from. Be careful when you do
this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled.
Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your
pants.

FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in
and check for other pooers. If there are others in the
bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to
become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if
they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or
forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a
sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do
not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are
standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did
not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable
for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel
uneasy.

JAILBREAK
When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun
pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a
hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in
the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare
everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the
water. This reduces the amount of air time the poo has to
stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught
doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you
have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very
uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As
with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not
exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER
A colleague who poos at work and is damn proud of it. You
will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroom
with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always
look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer
before entering the bathroom.

THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency
pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to
monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Pooers, and
identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you
can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly
of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooer
of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and
tries to force the door open. This is one of the most
shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking
a poo at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the
Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all
uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom
that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a
WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very
effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd
Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove
all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire
, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in
peace.

WATERMELON
A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet
water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a
Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET
A case of diarrhea that creates series of loud splashes in
the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using
Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could
spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or
sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax
while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poo when
the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the
other bathroom attendees

Crimson Feet said...

@ Jappy ... that was HIL-FUCKIN-ARIOUS!!

the poll

male 27
1. b
2. a
3. a (more like, i get it out quickly enough to have any time to read. No information is unnecessary here i guess ;) )
4. b is closest except that its "some" not "all"

avijit bakshi said...

Hi, me again.

Having read through you blog, and having liked most of the stuff there I thought I would let a couple of things I disagreed with slide, as it seemed like just quibbling. However, the quibble is nagging me, so here goes.

What I am about to say is about the post below, and the sentences in it that bother me, are also cut and pasted here below.

"12.12.07
the man, the boss, the rapist.

You cannot run complaining that you were okay sharing dirty jokes and dirty looks and a little flirtation and not anything else. Either play it the entire distance or if you are not going to be comfortable with what ensues, nip it in the bud.

Often we women ASK for things to happen to them. We give these bastards (and it does NOT mean all men so don’t you guys dare write back with how-can-you-hate-men) a chance to do what the fuck they want because we give them the fucking encouragement. Kindly stop it."


I can't believe that. i don't believe that. For me a A NO has to be a NO whatever the circumstances, whatever the provocation. A NO is a NO after hours of frolicking and just on the threshhold of entry. A NO is a NO with a prostitute. A NO is a NO even after years of encouragement, dirty talk, flirtation, whetever. There is NO excuse for going ahead after a NO.

So what if she flirted with you or encouraged you or whatever and is now saying 'no', deal with it, because that's the law of the land, because that's the law of civilised behaviour under whose auspicies you are enjoying the privileges of life you currently enjoy.

And and and where does the guy get off saying he is 'strong' and then saying he is unable to stop at a 'no' and blaming the provocation or the woman; where is his 'strength' then? In not being 'able' to stop strength rather than 'not being able'? Where is his famous manly 'control' then? In not being able to control himself? Anyway i am digressing.

There is no excuse for guys not stopping when asked to. I can understand someone being practical and saying that it is better not to encourage in the first place isn't it? Sure it is. But there are people who will always encourage and back off or will not see what they do as encouragement (also valid, as perception of encouragement differs from person to person)and back off, no matter what you, I, or anyone else says; and for those people as for every woman or man on earth, a NO must mean a NO. No exceptions!

Avi

Jade said...

1. a (majority of the times)
2. b (aim to be in a. category)
3. a (an absolute insult to reading)
4. b (know a few men who do)

Eve* aka JB said...

Hello Everyone, am DELETING someone called "Honey Bee" response to this survey as the person lifted Jappy Boy's comment and posted it on her blog without a single line or the decency to point out where she got the bloody idea from. Cant stand plagiarists. And some cheek to leave a comment here as well. Have left a comment on her blog too, but have mentioned she should feel free to delete.

Shady said...

Age -37
Sex - Male

1. When do you go for your daily potty?
a. the moment I get up, I run for the loo

b. About 20 minutes, I also pray inside

Make it Eight Minutes never 10 always less than 10 minutes.

3. Do you read while you are doing potty?
F: Can read if the Potty strikes in between reading else not a readers in those enclosed envoirons

4. do you know people who read during their daily potty?
Now I know a lot after going thru this survey

Honey Bee said...

Look here i never said its original...Yes I got it from Jappy..Thats why this post is in Sharing SEction..I have said its got from Yahoo as Jappy Boy has said it....Please dont emote just like that...Just relax....

Never Emote just like that without going thru in detail...

Honey Bee said...

And am not deleting your comment...Why should I???? Cool ok... All my posts are base donly on me...Whatever you think of me...I thought its my responsibilty to let you know the truth...

C'mon lets be friends..No Hard Feelings.. I Promise and Assure I dont Copy.. If I enjoy something.. I put it under Sharing Section.. I dont have many categories.. I have limited them to a few..... Hope you are fine with this...

Eve* aka JB said...

Honey Bee's response:
"Look here i never said its original...Yes I got it from Jappy..Thats why this post is in Sharing SEction..I have said its got from Yahoo as Jappy Boy has said it....Please dont emote just like that...Just relax. never emote without finding full facts."

My response on that person's blog:

And 'emoting' AFTER realising you didnt give credit to either Jappy (who searched for that bloody post) or this blog where you got the poo-post idea in the first place.

"Dear Friend, last comment here: Jappy said he got it from yahoo -- on my blog -- you say you got it off another blog since the original poo-post was there and NOT off Yahoo. Jappy had that decency. Have deleted your comment from my blog though and have announced it as well as plagiarism ain't a happy thing.
Happy blogging and good bye."

Also everyone: this person writes some fun stuff HOWEVER am not too sure how much of it is original and how much "lifted" off from other people s/he wont give credit to. I have a problem with that, perhaps over-reacting but then that's that.
cheers

Eve* aka JB said...

Oh hell well. Since you DO have the decency to come back here and speak up... will let your comments remain.

On hindsight, maybe i over-reacted harshly. You DO write fun stuff, so PLEASE give credit when occassionally you pick things here and there. We all get ideas from other people, but always good to appreciate another's ideas and then put forth ours, dont you think?

You as a writer should understand that there are many good with words, but it's the ideas that often differentiate products and our blogs.

Anyway, I did enjoy your scar post... havent read others, will, despite announcing that i wont visit again. :)

And erm... Hello Honey Bee!
As long as you give credit where deserved etc... let's talk.

Agreeable???

Itchingtowrite said...

most of them are double barreled questions but i am doing my best...hope multiple choice is allowed
F32
1. a usually but d is also true
2. b with d (20 minutes definitely take another 20 depending upon thebook I am reading) i don't pray
3. d
4. b- some of the men I know read..., my husband won't read even if you place him on gunpoint

Shantharam Shenoy K said...

SEX:MALE

AGE: 20

1) usually a, but if food is FREE then, probably d(am really crazy for food..wud eat up as much as i can)

2)A

3)A..HW CAN ANY1 READ THERE????


4) A


WELL SOMETHING'S REALLY FUNNY..ALL MY ANSWERS ARE A..NOT INTENTIONAL..
AND WHATS THE PURPOSE OF THIS?? BUT GREAT TO READ THOUGH..

@JAPPY..THAT WAS FUCKIN GOOD MAN...

vEENs said...

Female, 24
:D [ oh! Hell you make me do and think the weirdest stuff eve ;B

1 b [ but it depends, if the digestive s/m is in shambles then 'd']

2. a
3. d [:D]
4. a [:D]! No one except me reads.

When I was younger I used to go to the loo on the pretense of potty and read comics[ for hours, till my mom banged her way in literally] and then it became novels and now whatever I get my hand on.. if I am in the mood ;D

Pallavi said...

1.d
2.a
3.a
4.b
age - 25
sex-female

Ravi said...

1.d
2.a
3.d (check emails on my cell)
4.a
age - 33
sex - male

Mohit said...

Male, 27
Sorry for being late on this J Bo. But am still thinking why you wanted to do this survey :-)

1. a (used to be (b))
2. a
3. a (used to check emails and news when I got my new Windows Mobile phone, did that for a week, but that was it)
4. a (but sm ppl have a magazine rack in their toilets - so when i visit such ppl's homes, i can tell)

Dipta Chaudhuri said...

1. a
2. c
3. c
4. b

M / 32

Hope I am part of some path-breaking research that will find out a cure for piles!

Anirudh said...

1. b
2. a
3. a
4. a

M / 23

I too hope I am part of some path-breaking research.

Jappy Boy/Man said...

Hey I found a youtube video that is the survival guide to take a dump at work
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POChIuK4GaU