How to do it doggy style...

Doggie Lesson 1: If you want something, say it with your eyes and look sorry ---->
<-- Doggie Lesson 2: If you have a good posture, everyone will think you are well-bred.

Doggie Lesson 3: If caught on scene-of-crime, look as if you're
contemplating mysteries of life. ---->

<-- Doggie Lesson 4: Looking hopeful is half the battle won - Especially when staring at the food others eat. Look optimistic, you never know when some might be thrown your way.

Doggie Lesson 5: And if you get tired begging, just go to sleep -- NEAR the food -- and look cute. A bloody guilt trip ALWAYS works on the humans.
You'll get some when you wake. --->

Doggie Lesson 6: Waiting in the kitchen is another effective tactic. But since that is TRESPASSING, ensure you're looking all cute and cuddly when caught out.---- -->

<--Doggie Lesson 7: Sometimes, you just have to BEG for physical affirmations of affections. "Pet me Mom!"

Doggie Lesson 8: Silence and sulking are a good form of protest. Non-violence ki jai! --->

<--- Doggie Lesson 9: Nothing should disturb your sleep, NOTHING.

Doggie Lesson 10: And no matter what you do, Mamma always loves you. Even if you fucking chew her finger, you shite!-->

PS: The big shite's called Golu Dawg (1 year, four months, half german shepherd, half lord-only-knows), the little one's called Princess Loona (8 months, also responds to 'Piglet', eats anything that moves, or for that matter doesn't! Half Beagle, half LOK).