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February 22, 2008

Do working wives mean more divorces?

Year 1990. I still remember the first day my mother stepped out of the house to work; we were all on the same school bus. With growing kids and growing inflation, her ‘job’ was more of a budgetary necessity than a shot at a ‘career’. Ma had given up any plans of a career when she married and had a baby in the first year of the marriage. Having tutored two kids at home – ages 8 and 13 – teaching came naturally to her and she joined the school we were studying in. However, there was another reason she took up teaching: It ensured she was back home early enough to complete her household chores. She was the consummate working mother of the late 90s. Since Dad was an Army officer, Ma changed jobs as frequently as we changed schools: Each time Dad was posted to another city. It never occurred to either of my parents that she would stay back in a city without my father. Today they have been happily married for 30 years.

Circa 2008. The scenario for the working wife/ mother has not changed much. Perhaps not everyone becomes a teacher today, but most women still keep ‘Family First’ as their mantra and do whatever is needed to keep the work-family balance. And going by latest research, increasingly, it is NOT an easy balance to maintain…

In a survey conducted on 425 ‘Two Career Couples’ across five cities – Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore, Pune and Hyderabad – TeamLease Services, India’s largest staffing company, found that two careers has bittersweet implications on marriages. Of the couples surveyed, 34 per cent felt that chances of a difference of opinion and divorce are higher with both partners working. The reasons for disagreement? Odd or different work timings and either partner not wanting to give up his/her career for sake of the marriage…

Before you read the next page, tell me what you think:
1. Do you think it is possible to maintain a happy married life and a good career together?
2. If you had to leave your job to move cities with your partner, would you do it?

READ FURTHER >>> They don’t want to give up their jobs…

2 comments:

Pointblank said...

1. Thought-provoking story! I cant answer ur questions outta experience cuz m not married. but it should be difficult to maintain a balance between the both.

I have a working mom. But hers was a 9-5, 5-day-a-week job. And she used to leave me n sis at our grandmother's care who lived in the same city. But most women dont have tat luxury. And 9-5 jobs are a thing of the past!

Double income wud mean more money for a full time help. But tat is hardly enough. Cuz a woman would need the time n energy to bond with the kids. So it is a tough balance for sure!

2.Depends. If me moving along is better for the family (not just mine or his career individually), then I will.

Maxine said...

1.Yes.As long as both acknowledge that staying together is their priority and not to over indulge at work.And taking short breaks,trips,a surprise romantic dinner,an unplanned lunch date....doing things you would have done before marriage.Most lose out that love energy as the relationship becomes old.

2.Should depend on who earns more or rather who brings more to pay the bills in time.Also,if the move brings an absolute rise in the partners career and if the other can find a similar job too, a move would be a good change.Embracing change can sometimes be surprisingly refreshing.The key is not to do anything forcefully or let ego find a place in the process.