*NEW* Recent blog entries

February 20, 2008

Of beans, bra and & blogging...

Or, How to be happy for 10-minutes
Almost everyday, my wake-up routine is the same: I squint at daylight streaming in through the curtain, sleepily hope I have some more time to sleep while I am pulled into a familiar embrace, wonder where my slippers are so I don't have to step on the cold floor... and then I turn my head left or look up past a stubbled-chin and find a smiling, dimpled, groggy face that wishes me good morning. That smile pretty much lights me up and makes me feel very warm, comfortable, safe and loved. It's a new feeling. At times, that smile also makes me want to cry with sheer relief in being allowed to FEEL without any fear or self-consciousness. That’s new too. Those moments of waking up on most mornings are my happiest in any given day.

The other morning though, the smile was right there, groggy-eyed and dimple-cheeked and even as it registered that I was being woken up for another day ahead, a toe tickled the underside of my foot. My sleep left me instantly and from groggy, I went to grouchy in 2 seconds flat. “DON’T tickle me, you know I HATE it, why do you have to do it first thing in the morning?” I snapped, snarled. The smile vanished as instantly and the temperature in the room dropped by 10 degrees. I was cold and ashamed and much as I wished I had bitten my tongue and not lashed out, words cannot be taken back. Thankfully, the dimpled-smile comes with an even temperament and a magnanimous heart and thankfully after much pouting – my eyes become larger, lower lip hangs to chin and basically I look ugly – I was forgiven.

Why am I talking about wake-up routines? Am getting to that, a little patience please…

Yesterday, on the way to work, Partner suddenly asked me, “What are the things that will make a person truly happy today? Don’t answer immediately, think about it.” Now 32 hours later and having read some stuff here and there, I am STILL thinking. What are the things that will make us truly happy? Some people have a whole lot of money, but they aren’t happy because they want to keep that money and make more. Some bloggers get a whole lot of readers but then they might have to consider shutting down their blog. Some marry the love of their life, and then are not happy because their in-laws don’t accept them or they worry about losing that love. Some get the job of their dreams but then are not happy because their colleagues are forever scheming. What makes us happy?

When addressing the question of ‘what makes a woman happy’, one of Britain’s top feminists, Fay Weldon says, “Nothing, for more than 10 minutes that is.” After the 10-minutes, most women start having doubts about things (heh). I completely agree with her… and irrespective of gender, I think the 10-minute rule applies to most of us. Unless we are the higher beings (I don’t know any) who DON’T want anything or anything else from life, I don’t think it is possibly to be CONTINUALLY happy. We all can have happy moments or happy periods of time, but staying perpetually and all-the-time happy, I don’t think is possible.

The trick then to ensure more happiness is perhaps recognising that it might not always be the big-ticket items that can bring happiness and that it might NOT last forever. Once we do that, we need to maximize our 10-minutes and have more of those. While I don’t think there can be a generic what-makes-people-happy list, here are the 10 random things that make ME happy. Even if it’s just for 10-minutes… and before the doubts begin, me being a woman and all:
1. A cup of cappuccino, just the way I like it: strong and sweet. (Till I start complaining that Barista cannot maintain a consistent taste in its cappuccino)

2. A shopping trip to Sarojini Nagar market and coming home and finding that everything has been a good buy. (Till I start ruing that I should have bought the items I picked up but didn’t buy)

3. A new bra that gives me the perfect 'fit' and lift. (Till I kick myself for not buying two of the same… or faint at the state of the budget; good bras are expensive)

4. A plain, simple pair of jeans -- in my waist size -- that does not have any embellishments, funny buttons or weird embroidery on the arse. (It’s been a year since the last pair and haven’t found any yet. WHY do they over-dress jeans?!)

5. Feeling the skin ease as I slather moisturizer/ baby oil on it everyday after my bath; and the Partner sitting and watching every move. Everyday. What a rush! (Till I complain about how much moisturizing my skin needs and wonder if I have fat thighs and if my tummy is jiggling too much)

6. Watching a good movie, whether it’s a sad one or a happy one. (Till I begin day-dreaming about making a movie and chalk out all the reasons why I perhaps wont’ or can’t!)

7. Reading a good book or blog and smiling through it. (Till I get jealous about writers who are better than me; and there are a whole lot of them)

8. Writing an article/ feature and it becoming the ‘Most Read’ one on the official site and the boss pointing that out. (Till he asks me to do one everyday and I have palpitations wondering if I can… I also have a deadline today. Shit.)

9. A stranger coming up to me and telling me s/he reads me. (Till I wonder if s/he was thinking sex when s/he told me that or if s/he was being sarcastic. It’s called self-doubt)

10. A good night’s sleep followed by waking up smiling and topped with early-morning sex. (Till I get scared that just because I am happy, Life will take him away from me…)

PS: Everyone, DO share the things that make you happy, even if it's for 10-minutes. If you write it as a post on your blogs, leave a link here, else feel free to type away in the comments section. Perhaps I can get some happiness-ideas from you all...


the mad momma said...

oh... good bra, check, good jeans, cheeck, moisturising, book and a mug of tea. and i am happy.

Anonymous said...

compliment( even if small one),a good blog/book,vodka with cranberry,a new pair of bright colourful slip ons, a pedicure,.. i could go on and on actually..

Maxine said...

And if all those 10 happy list can be done atonce then its an hour of happiness(checkin math).

my list...hmm...lets see.
1.Riding a scooter with someone i'm attracted to(and then it rains and...wah)
2.Leaving my lil one at school which is a wide smile,relief etc and then missing n picking up after school.
3.A bubble bath.
4.Blue jeans n white shirt
5.A good song with nice lyrics.
7.Baking a cake and coming out good.
8.Thoughts of falling in love.
9.Writing poems for special people in my life(sorry,but they gotta deal with it)
10.Reading this blog.

Soumik said...

1. saying NO to moneyed and braindead producers.
2. cooking a perfectly delicious salad with rocket leaves, shitake mushrooms, red and yellwo pepper and bits of broccoli, topped with roast beef...and then stuffing myself.
3. japanese food.
4. discovering more rare songs of kishore kumar
5. the next film script. the idea coming to me.
6. a great voice. preferably a stranger's
7. mark knopfler playing on my terrace.
8. friedn okkra and karela and just munching thru them
9. sex
10. cooking followed by sex

Eve* aka jb said...

Rima -- agree to the compliment thing...till of course i look deep into their eyes to see if they really meant it!!

MM -- Tea usually depresses me because that means theres no coffee at home BUT nothing beats an excellent cup of chai especially if its at a dhaba.

Maxine --- SO true! I love hugging on the bike and then at red lights, he places his hands on mine and i am grinning inside the helmet. Sigh. I have NEVER had a bubble bath!!!! MY GOD. Thats one to try out for sure. Completely agree to a cake coming out well..and then showing off, even when there's no one around. Heh heh. Reading poems written by special people would be mine, since what i think is poetry is never poetry for others!! (grin) You are my she-soulmate!!!

Soumik -- welcome welcome! :) Agree to point 10 though when someone ELSE is cooking. :D

avijit bakshi said...

I am happy whenever i think of all that i have; air, water, food, clothing, shelter, having all my limbs and organs intact, parents, another day to live...

anonme said...

happiness for ten minutes.. i thought and i thought and some more before i had to agree!
hugging mum in the morning just cos she cared to make some tea for me so i can pretend to study(not really studying, mind u!), a compliment thats really meant(u can easily make out which ones are fake), reading blogs which are much-better authored than mine, watchin granny blink back tears at how proud of me she is, pani puri eating competition with friends!
the best is eating everything and anything i want knowing fully well that i wont put on an ounce of weight or get a pimple cos i ate oily stuff!! :D
writing this comment made me smile too, so that means that this made me happy too!!


Nat said...

being free to let my thoughts roam while someone else drives - I always have my best thinking going on while in motion in a car, auto (the best) and the likes.
Getting wet unexpectedly in the rain.
Getting through to my kids.
Food cooked by me turns out good (rarity)
what is it with the moisturising - yea it feels good but most times I'm too lazy to grease up.
Day without accidents (kids) and making good use of that day.
will make the rest into a post lol!

~junkie said...

A long hot bath :)
Lovely surprises from friends,family
Finding that perfect pair of sandals or earrings for a dress
Mmm...Cheesecake :P
Watching cute kids babble endlessly ;)
Me sipping mocha grande amidst heated arguments with friends and of course with floyd's Comfortably Numb as the background music :D
Knowing that my professor is on vacation !!
A solitary walk in the park/rain :)
Occasional freedom from constraints..
Blog surfing, espcl. eve's blog :P

Pointblank said...

hey... very simple, yet insightful read. U write beautifully!

hmmmm.. happy things,

1.digging into chocolate cake or pasta or pizzas with extra cheese or... Ok, u get it!

2.connecting deeply with someone.Like ur thinking something n the other person puts it into words.

3.a good laugh- the kind when u topple over tables, lean on friends.

4. pulling a fast n getting away with it.

5. going back to them n telling it was a prank. and then watching tat expression on their face.

6. holding a baby/ child and doing the baby-talk. (But then I dont wanna have babies, weird?)

7. matching wits with someone and winning it.

8. winnning an argument.

9. a lovely movie/book/blog/conversation

10.meeting/hearing from a loved one after a long time.

11. To know tat, whatever u do/ happens, some ppl will always love u.


13. as Nat put it, dreamimg esply while travelling.

14. drifting into sleep/ waking up n knowing thers more time to sleep.

15. complimenting! yup, I love complimenting ppl when I know they have done smthg commendable

16.knowing tat others trust u / enjoy ur company.

17. when some one says m being missed.

18.Having smthg fun/intersting to look forward to.

19. doling out advice, esply when somebody asks for it.

20. sharing a juicy piece of gossip.

21. watching a cookery show when something exoctic is being cooked.

22. discovering beautiful lines somewhere.

23. being a sounding board

24. encouraging ppl when they are down.

25. shopping -sprees alone/ with the girls, without worrying bout being broke.

26. a relaxed sat moning at a saloon - getting my head massaged/ pedicure.

27. buying gifts for loved ones esply parents.

err... did us ay 10?? K, so there are lotta things tat make me happy. then why the hell do I always sulk??

PS: I should turn it into a post.

Anonymous said...

Jhoomur, it is high time you stop copying eM and start writing something original. Seriously! I wonder how come the IBN guys even pay you; maybe there are actually too many like you. Filled with errors all around.

Mystique said...

Ooh, happiness....
1. Long long beach run, followed by walking barefoot into starbucks and sipping a mocha as the pain in my legs sets in.

2. A good bra. As you said. One that actually looks good on my small frame.

3. Jeans that fit. and are plain.I've been lucky, my last few pairs of beautiful jeans were gifted to me.

4. Wandering the souq with camera and lots of money.

5. A good book/blog.

6. Sun on my face

7. People who don't care that I'm being weird, people who think I'm a free spirit.

there are lots more, of course...