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July 15, 2007

Maybe, baby

Got up this morning... or rather in the wakeful hours between the fitful bits I call sleep and jotted this down. I am sleeping only till the medicine lasts and then I am up the moment the current dose is out of my system. Last night, had passed out without locking the doors. And the first alarming thought on regaining consciousness was: Dude, if they steal the office laptop and other equipment, I hope they kill me too, there's no way I can pay back the office.

It was 3 am and a song -- that I dont even have on my computer and I dont know the lyrics of -- was blaring inside my head -- and wrote this because I wanted to scream but could not because my throat is swollen shut. Lightly based on the song in my head (dunno it's name), but the tune is clear...and is sort of mixed with another tune. I don't care, it's in my head and am singing it. As in singing it inside my head. Just had the medicine and can feel it coming on. Think Golu Dawg should be arrested for female harrassment. He REALLY troubles little Loona...and yet, she cuddles up to him and sleeps. What the fuck. If something happens to me, who will look after my kids?

Maybe baby

If you had 10 years left,
10 years more or less,
Would you call it a curse
Or would you think you're bloody blessed?

Would you go on a shopping spree
Or just give it all off for free?
Would you count every second you have,
Or lie through it all and laugh?

Or will you say, maybe
This is gonna get some more crazy
And I feel no pain
For there's nothing left to gain.

And then when you lie,
When you lie on your dying bed,
Would you care for the ones a,round
Or wonder 'bout those you never found?

Or simply say, baby
It's always been this crazy
And I still feel no pain
For there was nothing ever to gain.


ps: Can't log on for too long as head swims majorly, so 'wrote' this and then typed it out. felt reassuring, like old times.


Still searching said...

Loved the "death song"..

AD said...

I think it's better that you stick to prose. The poetry is average at best. The thoughts may have been heartfelt, but didn't really work too well as a poem.

This caustic comment is just 'coz comparisons* lead to expectations.