Life in red and black

Colours have always meant expression for me. There are those that I choose consciously and those that pick me on my Let's Go With The Flow days. Then there are those colours that I just cannot tolerate. These give me physical pain. Like magenta, I like it only on bougainvilleas. On humans and in their surroundings it just looks hideous. Then there is this particular shade of glazed electric blue that simply gets on my nerves. Only acceptable in spandex in movies with superheroes. I used to hate turquoise till I realised it was really versatile on a dusky skin tone. And then there are the colours a tarot reader warned me about -- she said there is too much of those in my life and I need to tone them down -- red and black. Muted bold, cautiously open, borderline tease, subdued power and sensuously dark: red and black together are all that.

I cannot wear red and black on all days; but certain days are just that - red and black - bordering and hinting at Something that is to come and yet shrouded in enough mystery to thrill and terrify me at the same time. What's out there? Is it waiting to engulf me, chew on me and keep regurgitating me into the Cycle of Life for perverse pleasure? Or is it that Expanse where I take my first tentative step and then leap and somersault and stretch and punch and pirouette...because I am going to be boundless? Like that unstoppable boulder, that once pushed off a cliff, just keeps gaining momentum, keeps getting bigger... And who knows if it would crash to the ground or bounce off into an unknown black hole, full of positive possibilities? And fuck it, even if it crashes; it sure damn hell will be spectacular. Yes that is what I love about red and black, they are spectacular. And yet the two colours that give me a boost when I am unsure. The red keeps you from mourning and the black ensures you don't look a Christmas tree.

I don't like waiting - not that I have ever met/heard of anyone who enjoys it - as I really don't know WHAT to do when you are waiting. Anything you start, will remain incomplete because whatever/whoever you are waiting for will happen/turn up. And how can you be expected to stop thinking ahead - because you are now waiting - and start thinking of How Do I Keep Busy now. You can roll only that many. So I am writing and the result is...this, because I don't want to stop writing because then I would have to do the How Do I Keep Busy now. Hmm. But I should stop. I am wearing red and black and heading out. There is Something unknown that I cannot put my finger on; so might as well go out and embrace it. Let's see...