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April 2, 2009

Two reasons to eat your dog




Did you know that the USA is about to add 'puppy' and 'kitten' to its list of things that threaten America?

If latest research is to be believed, it seems house pets are extremely dangerous creatures. Or it could just be Americans...

According to the researchers at the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 88 per cent of all fall-related injuries in its emergency departments are caused by dogs and cats. Point to be noted here is that unlike India, where stray dogs and cats equal the number of stray human beings, the USA has strict regulations about strays. The dogs and cats mentioned in said research are pets and are supposed to cause about 86,600 injuries per year.

No, the pets don't bite their owners, but 66 per cent owners do seem to be in a habit of tripping over their pets. The Centre for Disease Control has apparently recommended pet obedience training. But who will train the humans?

However, not all is lost for the Americans and there is a silver lining. The dangerous pets research has allegedly lead to an improvement in US-China relationships. Unnamed sources in the US foreign secretary's office say China will now start importing these dogs and cats...

On a slightly different note though -- still talking meat -- it seems there is more bad news for India's resident vegetarian mascot, Maneka Gandhi.

For those who need reminding, Mrs Gandhi -- aka Maneka -- is known to be a rabid vegetarian and has been seen/heard on television berating non-vegetarians/meat eaters and calling them murderers etc. According to Mrs Gandhi, vegetarianism is the path to true salvation. The tagline of her advertisement has been, "Accha hai" (means "it's good.") Maybe not so.

According to latest research published in the Journal of American Dietetic Association, being a vegetarian can put you at risk of binge eating and "other unusual behaviour". The research says that "20-25 percent of current and former vegetarians in the study displayed unhealthy weight-control behaviors such as taking diet pills, vomiting, using laxatives and diuretics and binge eating."

As for the "unusual behaviour", I wonder if it is perhaps the reason Maneka's son -- and BJP youth-leader -- Varun Gandhi says strange things like, "...What I have said I have said but what I have not said I have not said." and is currently in jail. Given that Varun Gandhi's recent anti-Muslim comments simply not be allowed in the biggest secular, democracy in the world; I wonder if it perhaps had to do with eating too many leaves.

For those who don't know, Varun Gandhi is the son of Maneka Gandhi, who was married to the late Sanjay Gandhi, who was the son of the late Indira Gandhi. (phew) For non-Indians who might wonder, no, none of them are related to Mahatma Gandhi.

Personally, I've always believed that if human beings were meant to survive only on grass; we would be called cows. On that note, I shall go and fry Toto.

PS: Given that I am accident-prone, should I get a dog?

13 comments:

flygye12 said...

ha ha ha...great post..that's why i follow you! (do i sound like the gandhi in jail?)

Eve* aka JB said...

@ flygye: as long as you dont deny saying what you said and not saying what you didnt say...

Swati said...

nooooooooo....don't eat toto pleaassee....sob sob :P

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Swati: (shakes head) Toto does not mind. Toto is fed-up of his life.

Dee said...

LOL.. Our doggie is always hanging around my mom and she had some pretty serious "near-misses".. She always tells our dog, "Goldie, I will die one day because of u" and after saying that she will give her a huge smooch & a big bone to chew on..

The problem with America is that they are scared of every thing, children, earthquakes, hurricanes, murderers, rapists etc and they feed everyone's fantasy (imagination!?!) into doing it in real life.. Honestly they need to b scared of the kind of people they are becoming themselves..

As for Varun Gandhi, he is RSS's new poster boy, the scum bag!!

DewdropDream said...

As Dee said, Americans seem to be scared of just about anything! And as another friend would say, dumb yanks!

I often get asked how I can be vegetarian and get enough nutrition. At which point I have to explain to the asker that 'vegetarian' does not mean eating salad leaves only. I have to try and educate them about the fact that India's vegetarian culinary heritage is fat bigger and richer than they could ever begin to fathom. And then, they go off on a tangent as their eyes glaze over and they begin to drool thinking about their favourite 'Indian' dishes. Sigh.

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Tsk, tsk! Whatever will Big Brother come up with next?

That silicone works better than sexy deos?

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Dee: so agree about the USA; its quite the same in australia as well... unless everything is classified an epidemic, people dont seem to notice.

@ DewDrop: and mention butter chicken i am sure? the only vegetarian dish most know is daal or a few, palak paneer

@ Mamma Mia: some do prefer silicone...!

The Dude said...

Absolutely hilarious!

Its amazing how much idiocy people create in their lives, pets are dangerous because you trip over them?? what?

Ive had a dog for the better part of decade and my uncles had one since before I was born (and continues to have one) and except for occasionally almost stepping on the poor thing - once in a year, maybe - none of us have tripped over any of them. Idiots...

Its stuff like this (among others) that makes people laugh at Americans and makes me convinced that the movie "Idiocracy" is in many ways going to be a reality not too far ahead in the future.. :D

DewdropDream said...

It's worse! If it was only butter chicken I could have confessed ignorance and ended the matter. But then they ask 'How do you make curry?' and then I say 'There are a zillion different varieties which do you mean?' and then they look blank. Sigh. Indian food and conversations about it, two things I detest about London.

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Dude: I like the idea of 'Idiocracy'. Most democracies can be described thus...even the Indian one. We do have Varun Gandhi...

@ DewDrop: next time they ask about how-to-make-a-curry; send them to my food blog. :D haha.

Ria said...

the bit on varun gandhi eating too many leaves is damn funny :P and ya pls dont eat Toto....he's too cute to be consumed!

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Ria: How are you doing girl? Agree that Toto is too cute to be eaten. Maybe once he gets older...