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April 7, 2009

How to look like a man

(click on the above picture to see greater detail. Ahem.)
So much for metrosexuality and shaved chests. It's official now; with the worsening global economic crisis, research says that women prefer the "more muscular, primal, hairy male" to the ones who go about getting their eyebrows tweezed.

I had always known it. My first recollection of having a crush on any man goes back to Amitabh Bachchan riding a motorcycle and singing Rote huye in Muqaddar ka Sikandar. I clearly remember him wearing a white shirt, button undone and looking bloody delicious. <--- This picture is from Deewar, and you can still see some of his fuzz. Now of course grandpa B wears covered tees since I suspect his chest hair must be turning grey.


My second Bollywood crush used to be Salman Khan. Rather the Salman in his Maine Pyaar Kiya days... I was 12/13 and he was the 'boy' who dared to fight for the girl he loved AND had chest hair. My adulation quickly changed as Salman turned into Bollywood's biggest prick who now looks like a sausage walking around in tight jeans. (Hmm, in retrospect, this ---> poster is quite servile, isn't it? But then Rajshri productions has never been known for strong female characters. They always whimper.)

As for Hollywood, my first, fierce crush was Pierce Brosnan as Remington Steele. Oh, how I loved him. I was insanely jealous when I first saw the episode where he kisses Stephanie Zimbalist's character. So heartbrken... Pierce was so handsome AND had a hairy chest.

Since Steele, I have really liked Mel Gibson and George Clooney. Both men have chest hair. Hmm. All my screen men have also had good voices and strong chins. Now of course I am simply crazy about Hugh 'Wolverine' Jackman. If my chances of meeting Jackman -- as Wolverine -- were not nearly-nil, Partner would have great cause to worry.

Boys/men need to understand that not all hair on men is unattractive. For instance, both Anil Kapoor and Akshay Kumar had body hair as well. Just a little too much of it.

The rule for Male Body Hair is simple: If you have a monobrow that hides your eyes, please do get them re-shaped. If your chest hair looks like a carpet, please feel free to shave. If your body hair covers every inch of you -- including your neck and ears -- it is wise to get a wax or something. You don't want your girl reaching for a toothpick each time she kisses you.

Other than that, men who shave/wax their body hair -- unless you are a porn star -- LET IT BE. Some fuzz on a man looks good. For instance, I simply cannot understand how grown women can swoon over the likes of Toby Maguire and Zake Ephron. Despite the ripped bodies and all, both look like they'd cry if slapped.


While Daniel Craig is also being touted as a macho man, I find him quite putting-off. Firstly, it's that pout. It makes him look like he really needs to shit and is holding it back. Secondly, it's his much written about body. To me it looks quite rubbery; like if you ran and hugged him, you'd bounce right back.

The idea being a man does not have to be hairy; but neither does he have to look like the human version of a poodle. If you have some naturally, show it off.

That said, I shall go perv at Jackman some more.

PS: Partner caught me staring at Jackman's pictures. He asked me what I was doing. I solemnly said I was researching how chest hair makes men look hot. For a minute everything was all right. Then Partner looked at me and said, "But I don't have chest hair." (grin) He does and just the right amount. Let's just say I proved it to him that I find him really hot. Sigh. Can't wait for return-from-office-time.

24 comments:

Swati said...

ooohhh yes...my husband has some chest hair...a streak in the middle..and i find it so sexy...bury my face in it and snuggle...he can't undertand why i do that so much but i'm sure you will :)

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Swati: LOL. Ensure he doesn't shave it off. Haha, you're sweet.

Swati said...

and i'm with you an sallu...he was first hero crush :)...but hate hate hate him now

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Swati: Goes to show, all smart women think alike. :) what do you think of hugh jackman?

Swati said...

sadly i've only seen him as wolverine...but the animal within the man thing is so very sexy...sigh...i'd better stop drooling and get back to work....double sigh...
btw i love this blogging thing...i check yours everyday from office...noone can accuse me of working too much :)

Eve* aka JB said...

:) Am glad you do. If anyone says anything, tell them it helps you calm your nerves. ;) And perhaps get your boss to start reading as well. Heheh

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

I find chest hair sexy too. Men who wax it off to have a baby bum effect basically just need to grow up!

And thank you, thank you for that visual delight! Hugh is such pure eye candy!

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Mamma Mia: Ah my love, you are more than welcome. I DO like to look at yummy men. And he is the god of all. Sigh. Since he is an Aussie and I am in Australia, perhaps, there is some hope...

Goofy Mumma said...

Oh! I detest those hairless metro sexual types too! Hugh Jackman really is Yummy."Secondly, it's his much written about body. To me it looks quite rubbery; like if you ran and hugged him, you'd bounce right back." Hilarious!

Perakath said...

Uff. Stop showing off your sex life! Nympho. Huh. I have lots of sex too. Really.

Who's that last picture of? Partner?

(Whenever I see that word I start thinking of Salman and Govinda dancing like jackasses in a Hitch-movie ripoff.)

Perakath said...

This is not a comment...

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Perakath- who - does-not-comment: How did you know Partner and I have been practicing those dance moves?

Perakath said...

Well how else would you prove to someone that you find them really hot, other than engaging in a Bollywood dance? Katrina Kaif jiggled her boobies quite nicely in one of those songs, as I recall...

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Perakath: I was talking about Salman-Govinda dances.

Perakath said...

Who's the last picture of, anyhow? And my mom has always found Sean Connery hot. Pierce Brosnan, yes-- in all his movies they make it a point to show him topless.

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Perakath: that's wuss boy Zack Efron, High School Shit-musical.

Eveline said...

I don't like very hairy men... that's cos the man i adored since i was a kid, my dad, has had no hair on his body. But, all that changed the minute i laid eyes on Hugh Jackman at the Tony awards. No guy gets me feeling weak in the knees like he does :P

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Eveline: I wrote about Hugh first! He's mine. :) Or geographically i am closer, so i get to try first. i HOPE that i get to meet him someday (soon). I shall give up all my celebrity-snobbishness and scream my head off....HUGH, I LOVE YOU! I shall even wear a Wolverine mask.

DewdropDream said...

Zac Effron would make anyone over 12 feel like a cradle snatcher for one thing. I really liked Hugh Jackman in Kate and Leopold.

Having said that, I'm yet to find a star I drool over. Or a random guy on the street. I'm always too busy checking out the beautiful women hehe

flygye12 said...

you are mean !
God gave each man his share of hair. you can't add inches (you know to what) , you can't add hair.

period

how come no one is commenting on the ugly shorts H.J. is wearing in that pic?

the best image of him remains the first time i saw him - in 'swordfish' wearing that brown towel=H.O.T.

wish i was more hairy. partner is (so no probs for me :).

Eveline said...

Wow and the claws come out! :D

Well, good luck with the shout-out... hope u do get to do it someday with the Wolverine mask and all :P

Eve* aka JB said...

@ DewDrop: Hugh Jackman i will always most as Wolverine. You have to see him in The Prestige, quite nice. I also liked his in-his-undies scene in Someone Like you.

@FlyGye: Arre, when it Hugh he can wear ANYTHING and still look good. :D And he looks rather sweet in those shorts. And i agree about Swordfish...woooohooo. And if Partner has hair, one is enough, no?

@ Eveline: I could always call you when i get the chance...

Goofy Mumma said...

And how did I end up being the only one with no response to my comment? You flagging me off or something?

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Goofy Mumma: Humbly apologises. It was merely overlooked!!! i am so sorry... i dont mind hairless as long as it's natural hairless and no one wants to borrow my tweezers or my razor. And yes, Hugh....haiii.