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October 15, 2007

Come cheat on me baybee....

I am really foxed and the more I think about it, the more it escapes me. Or perhaps, the answer is so obvious that I don’t really want to accept it. Perhaps men cheat because they can. Or perhaps because they can get away with it. Or perhaps because women don’t cheat as much.
Oh sure yes, there have been women who have dumped their guy for another, or cheated on their man and then dumped him. But don’t you see, women usually cheat on their men to LEAVE them for another. I really don’t know of women who randomly do men or sleep around with whatever/whoever catches their fancy just because… Just because! I have heard stories of women cheating on their partners/husbands when they were not happy, or because the said partner/husband was not satisfying them physically, emotionally, monetarily, etc. Point being, there is a REASON why women cheat.

Much unlike WHY men cheat. There is no why, men simply cheat. Or at least, majority of the men I have met have been the cheating sort; and I don’t mean the men I have dated. Even those I see around me, are my friends, colleagues or generally around. Men cheat. I am trying my best to think of cases or men who don’t cheat, but so far, other than said man/men’s word that they are monogamous or committed and do not cheat, the proof is contrary to the few men who CAN say they don’t cheat. I am yet to see it for myself.

I have asked many of my male friends, the reason why they cheat. Sometimes, even without asking, they volunteer the information. Here are some of the reasons I have heard/ been told about why really, the male chooses to wander:

“Tonight is an office party, I am hoping to meet some hot chicks, maybe get lucky with one of them.” On being reminded that he had told me he had a fairly active sex life with his then girlfriend – who is now his wife – my friend replied, “Yeah sure. But you don’t expect me to have sex with the same woman again and again? I get bored dude.” This discussion took place a week or so after he got engaged to then-girlfriend-now-wife.

“I only cheat when I am sure I don’t love the woman I am with. When I am committed, I don’t cheat.” That was one of my ex boyfriends who was making it clear that he would cheat on me – but kept insisting that he had not so far – since he did not love me. Very pleasant, he was. When I asked him if he was perhaps okay with me cheating on him too, he said, “Of course not. You will go straight out that door if you do anything of the sort.” But DUDE, you don’t love me, shouldn’t it be both ways?

“You cannot sleep with another man. Then we cannot work out.” This WAS one of the dude's I really liked and we perhaps got very close to dating each other, but our mutual timings sucked. He was caught in something, I was getting out of something and something just could not happen. Now he dates another… And has cheated on that other with me. Shrug. But of course, he still does not like the idea of his girlfriend cheating on him. And of course, what she does not know cannot hurt her.

“But I LIKE women!” Well, what can one say to that one? This was dude dating another really HOT girl; and was strangely hitting on me (strangely because she was waaaaaaay better looking, hotter, etc than I can ever manage to be, even with a lot of effort put in). His response was “because I love your personality. Your confidence is so alluring.” He was good with words and perhaps I might have been tempted if at the precise moment he was doling out those lines, his girlfriend – who is now ex – had not called and he had not started sweet-talking her while trying to do weird things to my hand. I think he was trying pressure-point maneuvers. I was plain disgusted.

“They are just sex, fucky-fucky baby, no one can threaten the girlfriend.” Ah, another ex, explaining how I was different and he respected me and all that and how since he respected me, he needed to screw around.

“I need a Cow. To marry.” Another dude, deciding on marrying a chick and wondering how much he can get away with. Why? Because, “I don’t believe in marriage as a concept.” Erm, so WHY marry her? I am sure she wouldn’t want to be called a cow or thought of as one. He also wants a cow because she would be “simple and straight-forward and not much experienced and she wouldn’t ask too many questions.”

“Women are my weakness. No matter how much I love a woman, I need other women around me.” The ‘around me’ of course means he wants to do more than just have them hanging around him.

What REALLY foxes me is: HOW do men keep the ‘love’ and the ‘lust’ separate? How do they nonchalantly fuck one woman and go to another and profess love to her? Can a human being – even if said human being is a man – REALLY love a woman IF he can fuck another woman without a thought about either women? How can a man be so sure of loving one woman when he is blatantly cheating on her… Of course, here I am assuming that the said love-of-his-life-woman does NOT like being cheated on. HOW can men just fuck women without bothering to see the PERSON behind that casual screw? If they meet an interesting woman and screw her, don’t they want to know her?

HOW do men keep the guilt away? I want to know, I want to learn. I have not cheated on the men in my life. Never two-timed. Erm, except when I was 14; and then too I was a virgin, so my cheating was basically being both their ‘girlfriend’ at the same time. Till yesterday, I was under the illusion that I had cheated on one of my latest ex-es. But then realized that in the period I was thinking I was STILL with him, he had already announced on facebook and orkut and to his friend circle that we were not together. So technically, I did not cheat on him.

So... I don’t cheat on my men. And if at all, I have remotely come close to temptation – the kind I KNOW I will follow through or want to – I walk out of the existing relationship. Again, I don’t get tempted unless my man is being nasty to me. Strangely, and I feel like a complete fool feeling like that, given that no amount of dedication stops a guy from cheating on you – strangely, when I am happy with my man, I don’t need another. I will be happy with his jokes, his out-of-tune singing, the silly videos he will make, or whatever else good and not-so-good thing and I will stick with him. For better or for worse. I am tempted when what I have is lacking. And it’s never physical. Oh sure, I will be creaming in my panties at the sight of strong, shapely shoulders, a perfectly V-shaped torso, strong calf muscles, jeans that fit a strong, strong thigh (ummmmm….), strong hands and strong fingers, a defined jawline, a cleft on that strong chin, nice hair… (ok this is going overboard and it’s quite a delectable picture that’s forming in my head) …BUT, I will ONLY admire. And think that the dude is hot. I will not compare such dude (oh what a dude!) to my man or wish I was in bed with him or give in to if said-such-man were to give me attention etc. Nope. I would go back home to my baby and be happy.
BUT. Put a man in that situation and he would say, “Are you fucking crazy you want to let go off that chance? Screw him man! He is hot.”

Men. I love them. I REALLY don’t understand them at times. And then the buggers have the audacity to say that women are complicated. (Scowl)


Maxine said...

haha...havent read the entire post.Am in the library reading a book called Simply Tarot by Leanna Greenaway,in which she gives a few simple steps to help along the way for the budding Tarot readers AND one of her tip is:
"If you are a woman,never read for a man if you are alone in the house."
She does apologise to all 'nice men', but also says that "we women must be cautious".
Oh well...
I do love men.he he.

Maxine said...

Ok am commenting again...cant help.no sorry.

--->BUT, I will ONLY admire. And think that the dude is hot.

hmm..no man will believe that to be true.
And the reason why men get so upset/threatened by another good looking man or someone his girl admires.. is cuz they compare women to themselves!!!Eureka! lol
I somehow loved this post, not that i dont any other,but this one!
Well..i had to hurry back home to relax n read!

face behind the mask said...

dear jhoom,

While in a relationship, looking around for a screw is disgraceful to say the least. I also wonder how a man can make love to another woman without been "in love".

I look forward to love my woman , giving her the streaming O's, with the same passion as we had done it the first few times, untill we enter 'ole age & its becomes impossible to give her pleasure.

Problems occur,(especially career moves) it has happened to me, I by chance had a few very sensible woman friends like you, who saw me through the lows & mind you i have been with a emancipated eve like you for the last 16 years. Life is tough (like anything else in life), but enjoyable.

bye sweets & take care

Pirate of the Arabian said...

Hmm.. small reminder about class 10 biology.. men are genetically engineered to mate with as many homo sapien female as possible.. some times some of them cant handle it and do sheep as well.. like in Wales.. this is not an excuse for cheating this is how we are.. and if women have not accepted this fact.. that has been around since the beginning of creation.. they're REALLY missing the point

How can a man say he loves someone and fuck someone else? Maybe the woman he loves is cockteasing about no sex till "she's sure" or he's just not in love with her..
If a man loves a woman.. he'll still WANT to fuck other women occasionally.. with just the emotional bond keeping from doing it...

This whole cheating / morality concept of adultery is a Christian concept.. Are we forgetting multiple wives,, Draupadi and the harems of the sheikhs?

And there ARE plenty of women who'd like to fuck as much as men.. they just dont because they dont want to be called sluts