2. Dirty Nights: The Slut

So she is the party slut. Actually, she would make a good office slut too. Or a holiday slut. Or a you-can’t-make-her-meet-your-mate-because-she’d-screw- your-boyfriend slut. But overall, she makes the best party slut.

She would be the one to always sit in men’s laps and hit bull’s eye. Or bull’s crotch. She never sits on the knee, always perches on the crotch. And the guy – owner of the crotch – is supposed to continue having his drink nonchalantly. You’d think he has low alcohol tolerance to be going red in the face on his second drink.

His girlfriend meanwhile will smile benignly, and will have the oh-they-are-friends and she’s-such-a-fun-girl look. Other men will think the bloke’s lucky to have a chick on his lap and a “cool” girlfriend. Everyone will live happily in a happy world of tolerance. Then, in the loo, while reapplying her gloss, the unsmiling girlfriend will say, “She’s such a slut.”

In another corner, two blokes will be gulping beer and will be joined by the now-glossed-over girlfriend. After she’s kissed them on the cheek and shown her preference by standing closer to the better looking of them (will keep touching his arm, perhaps rub thighs accidentally too), she would say, “She’s such a slut.” All three will be looking at the slut, who is being generally slutty with all men around. The men would nod and one of them – usually the one who has not laid the slut – would say, “Yeah. But she is known to be a good fuck.”

The guy who's having his thigh rubbed would perk up at that bit of information. The chick would roll her eyes and say, “Really? But then sluts are supposed to be, aren’t they?” She would look horrified and innocent at the same time, or try. Then she would ask, “But how do you know?” and look conspiratorially. He would smirk and lie, “I had her in the back of my car.” He would wink. She would groan and say, “Uff, you are such a player. Disgusting. She is such a slut.” And yet, oh-so-subtly, she would shift to adjust her jeans. She's a good girl, she's never had it in a car.

They will all sip their drinks and she’d move to another group after a bit to share the information. She would say, “She slept with someone – I wont take names! – at the back of a car. Had her legs around the rear view mirror. She is such a slut.” Others would nod their acquiescence. Most have heard the car story. Someone else will talk about the time the slut stripped off her top in another party (five years back). “Then she wore the host’s shirt, tied a knot right under her breasts. Her tits were erect, she had lost her bra. You could SEE them.”

“Lord,” they will all groan in unison, “Such a slut.” Then the guy who is usually seen hanging with the slut – arm candy – will join in the group. Someone will ask, “Are you dating HER?” he will scoff and scowling reply, “Of course not. But I have fucked her.” Everyone nods and says, “She is so obvious, such a slut.” No one will mention that she is a good fuck.