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June 10, 2007

I see couples e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.

Relationships, they are tricky, and I am constantly amazed at the variety I see around me all the time. The bickering couple makes me wonder if they ever talk sweetly with each other or why they talk at all...and are still together . The physically undemonstrative couple make me wonder if they are really that cold towards each other or if I am sensing things wrong or if maybe it's me who's wrong in thinking that you can 'sense' a certain intimacy between people and similarly the coldness too...and the lack of touch is the first sign. The see-each-other-on-holidays long distance couple make me marvel at how people can sustain each other and them despite distances (and how do they keep temptation away? And fear? Because I don't think it's only about trust these days...and then it completely depends on two people how much they are comfortable when their partner perhaps is not physical but is 'intimate' with someone else... Then the highly talented twosome amaze me that they do not have ego clashes or artistic differences or are handling it all very well.

And when I see all this, I realise somewhere that the ability to compromise to another, to bend a little to allow a lot more... is perhaps not an innate thing, you need to work at it. However, the INABILITY to compromise is pretty much inborn. We would all love it if we could have our way all the time, to some people that idea is positively scary simply because they wouldnt know what to do if they DID have their way. And then compromise is also about the little things.
Like I find the idea of sheer curtains very liberating, I love the way the look when the sway in the wind, they keep out excess light but let in enough to enjoy natural light... and they just give a sense of openness. (That's the door that leads to the drawing room balcony). But then the other could like dark curtains, the heavy, drape variety, because they keep all light out, because he likes the way they fall. He cannot sleep in light. You argue that there are no lights at night. He argues the street light gets into his eyes. You suggest two sets, one to let you enjoy the light in the morning, another for him to enjoy the dark at night. But by now, it's already an argument. You versus me. Light versus dark. Perhaps some couples would amicably discuss it, go for the dual option and live happily after. It takes two to tango... to compromise, or not to compromise is also a two way deal. Hmmmm.

PS: So, did I not compromise or was the other (were the others you mean --> to self) not willing to? Rational self to blogging-self --> DO you see a pattern lady? Keep off the species. You suck at judging them.

PS 2: Now men are turning around and TELLING me that I have met the wrong guys. Perhaps. I also think I have the amazing KNACK of bringing out the devil in god. And I dont take it as a complimet. Sh!t.


Anders said...

curtains swaying in a faint hot wind are not only liberating. they're downright erotic like good poetry...

Sunny said...

From personal experience JB :
"the amount you love someone is directly proportional to the compromises you are willing to make for them"

NAFO said...

sooo many things to compromise on!!hmm let's see what is there... they have to:
-be intelligent,
-be attractive,
-be confident,
-share similar cultural tastes (movies, books, music etc)
-share similar ideological POVs,
-be able to get along with your friends (surprisingly important)
-have their own friends (so you can have space, and so they have some one to go to when you break up),
-have to have their own hobbies (see above),
-have to be a 'good' height (if they're too tall, i make THEM seem inadequate haha!)
-NOT be a dickhead (depends on what you define as such)

I take note off all these things, and I don't consider myself a 'picky' one.
Still, they say opposites attact...

moonstruck maniac said...

if the doors of perception were cleansed......