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June 29, 2007

Eve* in Maxim, India June 2007 issue


Okay Ladies and Gentlemen,
Eve* makes it to Maxim, India again in the June 2007 issue of the magazine. In your face replies to questions some boys wanted answered! Turn to Page 101 for those who pick up the magazine, others read here! The pictures are really hot and the captions are funny.

Everything About The Girl

Squirter Skirter
What is the deal with squirting orgasms? Is it real or is it just a marketing ploy by porn companies?

There are monkeys in the wild and there are those that are trained to perform roadside tricks. Now all monkeys can perform those tricks, but in the wild, monkeys just hang from trees and do their own thing. Ditto for women. While it IS true that some women can have those 200-metre-squirting orgasms, not all can. You have to remember: (a) squirting women/woman have to be really turned on to come as much. When they do, it’s like opening floodgates and (b) the squirting takes practice and muscle control, much like chewing betel leaves: everyone can spit, but can everyone spit-and-aim?

Itchy and Scratchy
Do women scratch their nether regions as much as we do?

Only if the said woman is really bushy or has a symbiotic relationship with her own personal fungal family down there. Then again, it could be yeast. However, unless she is creature-loving, most women do not scratch. We rub our eyes.

Going Down Under
What pleasure do women get giving fellatio?

Women are oral creatures, why else do you think they talk as much? Now think: how many times have you seen something really funny looking and decided to put it in your mouth? Now think again: women are also creatures of pleasure who like giving pleasure too. O the idea that a man is pleasurably, completely at their mercy – when in their mouth – makes blowjobs fun. It’s a control thing, baby. And of course, HOW man behaves when in the mouth also tells a girl WHAT sort of a man he is, when caught with his pants down. For instance: if in the first three seconds itself he puts his hand behind your head and moves you – unmindful of his you-know-what sticking down your trachea, choking you – he is a selfish slob who fill force much more than his you-know-what down your throat and probably suffers from premature ejaculation as well.

Pole-axed
Does size matter?

Of course it does; and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Can you imagine a 6 inch-small Godzilla? No matter how well you can ‘move’ the small, big is always better. But what is absolutely imperative for you to remember, is that women like anything Big. As long as you have either a Big house, a Big car, a Big wallet… you are safe. Get the basics right: if something’s small-er, play up something else that’s Big-ger and know how to use it.

Problem Peel
Do women prefer circumcised or uncircumcised penises?

What interests you more: the gift or the wrapper? Particularly if the wrapper is not free moving and gets in the way? Foreskin is not a problem if it gets out of the way when it should. But if it hides the cherry, or is painful or (yikes) dirty, ANYONE would prefer it off. For boys who do have it on, keep it clean, keep it sliding and no one would mind.

Fuzzy Wuzzy
What’s your take on body hair?
In the right amount and at the right places, body hair on a man are what breasts are to a woman: appeal enhancers! Like a good looking dude with absolutely hairless arms – if the arms have been waxed – is too ‘meterosexual’ (we’re being polite). At the same time, if a woman needs a toothpick each time she even kisses you, maybe you need some trimming. Real men, have real, manageable body hair.

Tube Rumours
Like in the ads do girls really soak up random leaking liquids all over their houses to prove how effective their brands of sanitary pads are?

Only the ones that are doing market research or imported girlfriends intrigued by our bad pad ads. Tell them that earlier women used cloth in India. Write back to me if they are still randomly soaking up…things could get serious.

Nympho Nancy
If no one would ever find out, would girls be uncontrollably promiscuous?
Now hold on, a man needs assurance that no one would find out, women have been multitasking and multimanning for ages. Women are promiscuous by nature; till such time they find a sucker who is wiling to pay for them for life. That’s when they stop… for a while. Remember, a man in a monogamous relationship is boring and off-limits to other women; while a woman in a monogamous relationship just becomes all that more exciting for other guys. (Evil grin)

3 comments:

varun said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Amit said...

incorrect about the monogamous part - taken men can be as attractive and as promiscuous. as can taken women be bores. its basically an individual kinda thing

& said...

noc·turne
noc·turne (nŏk'tûrn') Pronunciation Key
n.
A painting of a night scene.
An instrumental composition of a pensive, dreamy mood, especially one for the piano.