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February 17, 2007

Who wants a mind f**k?

Advertising: Is anyone interested in having a wild time, provided you let me write about it here?

Presumptions, I tell you, they seem to be getting the better of me these days. Not mine, mind you, but fucking presumptions that have people have about you (as in me) JUST because they "have read your blog." There are people - and many of them - who think that "just because" I write on and in and around sex, I think sex all the time. Well, I do, but hey, I am a woman, I can think it all the time and yet think seven other things, or as many needed. It's not as if I am feeling myself up 24/7, my hand under my skirt of in my trousers as the case might be.

Yes, the monicker is Clit Chatting, but dudes, a chatting clit can be heard, you dont have to look under the skirt to SEE it talking! Funnier still is how everyone thinks you will write about them in "one of your sleazy pieces" and yet go on to tell you all gross details of their sexual lives (or dreams of it in a number of cases). And men do it more than women. Dudes... the first rule of conversing with a smart woman: actions speak louder than words. Most smart women follow a general rule: If the dude talks too much, unasked, he's either got a small dick, or herpes or erectile dysfunction or will turn out to be a woman-beating, womanising, closet misogynist. There are NO exceptions.

Unless I expressedly asked for it, why tell me how you'd like to doggy style that waitress right in the coffee shop? Or the Russian you did last night? THAT was one of the weirdest conversations... why do men think a woman would be amused by stories of his having treated another woman shabbily?
"S0-and-so? I used to pick her up at 4am to bring her home and fuck her." Talking about the woman who's been recently dumped.
"That Russian chick? I was so drunk I unhooked her bra in public and even slid my hands inside her pants..." Talking about a Russian whore his friends 'bought' him because he fucking cannot get a lay on his own merit, or even on the merit of his money.
"I can fuck a fat woman if she is cute; they are really grateful I tell you." Explaining how it's not called fucking-anything-that-moves, but has humanitarian reasons involved.
"I didn't beat her out of anger; my violence was my love for her." Talking about punching his girlfriend's face, throwing her on the ground and then pummeling her with fists and kicks.
"I am not a womaniser, I just don't want to commit to the wrong person." Talking about why he gets into long-term relationships knowingly, all of which result in the woman being dumped, heartbroken...and the breakup is always nasty.

Oh and most of the above statements are followed by: "But I am not going to be like that with you. You are different. This is different."
YAWN. And then followed by, "You don't mind my talking to you so freely, do you? After all you write on sex..." I raise an eyebrow, they hastily add, "And of course there is this certain comfort in talking to you, as if I have known you before..." At this point they ALWAYS look at the boobs and then your lips and try looking into your eyes deeply.

Presumptions: just because you are writing about shagging, you're up for anything or any prick. Presumptions: just because you are sad, you'd believe in any horseshit from every arsewipe.
Correction: when I write about wanting the Perfect Shag, I mean perfect, and I decide that.
Correction: the shag means a delectable man, not a delinquent.

6 comments:

serendipity said...

hail...hail
such true words clit. just coz u think it, don't mean u are it! i imagine men reading our blogs and thinking they must be some horny women...thinking, writing, breathing sex, game for anything(ahem...anyone!)
well that's not true is it ;)

taurius1 said...

Yor blog keeps gettin more and more interesting with every post. ^_^

catmiester said...

U sound angry...
at men and the world in general.

dunno much about the opposite sex... but past experience says they would necessarily assume that just because u are talking about sex, ure easy.

Although I totally agree with u that's fucking double-faced cheapshit nonsense...

Stay cool... and fuck them silly... coz they're definitely NOT worth the effort, otherwise.

clit.chatting said...

Yo Cat! how you doin chika!
trust me, will fuck them silly...as soon as i find a bag enough to cover their faces and enough cotton to stuff their mouths, so that i might JUST fuck them and not fuckin be hearin them. Sigh, nothing more tiring than dumb men...who think they can talk...during sex. Shudder.

moonstruck maniac said...

MEN, i tell you bongshell. 'you dont mind me talking to you freely. after all you write on sex' HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA how the hell did he come up with that. it is like that pick up line - hey, (with the johnny bravo face) is your father a terrorist? HA HA HA
kind word from one of my acquaintances - Men, they are like tiles; once you lay them straight, you can walk all over them.

Shady said...

Quote ""I can fuck a fat woman if she is cute; they are really grateful I tell you." Explaining how it's not called fucking-anything-that-moves, but has humanitarian reasons involved.Quote Ends

Oh yeah I have come across many Public servents they will do anything that walks and have similar reasons