*NEW* Recent blog entries

February 25, 2007

Going Dear F**kFace, Ab Yeh Lay!

To do, or not to do... any man, that is the question.

If you sleep with some, you are a slut.
If you don't sleep with some, you are frigid.
If you meet someone for a drink an don't fuck him, you are a cock tease.
If you say No politely, you are being sarcastic!
If you don't accept advances, you are stuck up and need a lay!
If you understand a 'non-veg' joke, perhaps you are up for talking any shit.
If you don't understand a non-veg joke, you're pretending and are a prude.
If you show your cleavage, you want everyone to see you have boobs.
If you don't show your cleavage, then you are a fucking feminist.
If you get drunk, you are do-able by anyone.
If you don't get drunk, whatever is your problem girl, learn to chill out!
If you talk to a number of men, you are a player.
If you don't talk to a number of men, you are a bitch who well, needs a lay.

Yes honies, many a times a Lay is the answer for 'fixing' a woman's 'problems'. But hony, sweetiebum, my possum, just ANY lay does not do.

If you announce to the a woman you are good in bed, you probably aren't and therefore need to talk about it.
If you run your hands up a woman's leg -- without her having touched you even once, and a hand-shake is not touching -- Moron, NOTHING is happening.
If she says that she does not object to sex but is not thinking sex at the current moment, she does NOT want to sleep with YOU.
If she says her current no-sex stand has nothing to do with you, she definitely does NOT want to sleep with YOU.
If you tell her you find her really hot and she changes the subject, she knows you are leading to sex and is not interested, in YOU.
If you proposition sex and she says she wants to be friends, she is interested in NEITHER with YOU.
Sigh. When a woman refuses sex, or to hang out with you, or to go drinking with you, insists you should meet in a group... she is not only NOT interested in sex with you, she is probably not even interested in you.

Yes, many women need a lay to set their heads right. And I sincerely subscribe to a good lay a day keeps every fuckin problem away... BUT darling, honeybun, sugarlips and my extreme sweetness, the operative phrase is, a GOOD lay. :)

Even women are VERY sexual -- they just dont want to sleep everything. And the best lays -- regarding MEN -- are the men who DON'T go propositioning a woman the first time they meet. Men who DO get laid are the ones who wait and who enjoy a conversation with a woman as much as they enjoy cunnilingus. The man/men women want to sleep with are confident and that does not mean pandering their goods or their Long Lasting Powers at any given chance. Guys who get girls, LOVE girls in toto and not just their pussies.

First rule of getting/ bedding a girl: make her feel MORE than just a pussy. Because like every guy has a dick -- and you need more than just a dick to stand out --- every girl has a pussy too. If you make her feel like just another fuckin hole for your dick to get into....you might as well turn your dick around -- provided it grows that much! -- and shove it up your arse.
This post is NOT for all men...only to the arseholes who think they might be the solution to a woman's problems. Sigh. When a girl tells you that she wants to know you for the thinking you do with your brain and not the thinking you do with your dick...it is a fucking compliment. But then oh, most dickheads wouldn't understand that.

7 comments:

Shady said...

ROFL

Aptly said.

This should have been on mind of a women.

Cyrano De Bergerac said...

Way to go Jhoomur! Sock it to him. The bastard deserves it and more.

moonstruck maniac said...

calm down JB!!!! baap re...

Anonymous said...

Nice post. Wickedly funny. You really did put a lot from junk of forwarded e-mails and joke websites together in a nice way :)

clit.chatting said...

Ah, from the sheer anonymity of your comment to the bad grammar, might just know who you are.
That apart honey, not from forwarded emails and joke websites.. unless they have picked stuff off me. I dont plagiarise, your words hint at that. Do choose your words carefully, I do.

Debosmita said...

This one had me so cracked up that I am compelled to comment ;-)

I know you are not on this blog any more, so don't know whether you will see it or not, but I have to say one thing for this post - That was so so bloody true for every woman ;-)

JB said...

lol@ Debosmita: This was after I met this dude from a band and throughout the frickin' evening he kept trying to hit on me. Just would not take hints. This is also in the archives section on twist in the tail i think...