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March 24, 2009

How to make your man behave

Lesson 1. Do something unpredictable. Especially if he thinks you won't can't do it.

As I shared earlier, we were down in Australia's surf capital, Torquay this weekend. As we strolled down to find a good spot on the beach, Partner suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and exclaimed, "That chick is topless!"

His observation was correct and right where I would have liked to lay down our beach towels, there was this chick lying topless. Needless to say, I was not too happy about it. Equally needless -- but I'm saying it nonetheless -- I glared at Partner.

He quickly tried to recover his composure -- and failed -- and we walked a safe distance away. However, there is nothing called a safe distance away when there is a topless chick around. Especially if said chick suddenly decides she needs to sit up and start lathering sunscreen all over her body.

By now we were in the ocean and I noticed that Partner was behaving like Noddy. His head kept swivelling towards the beach.

"I can see you, you know," I said.
"No, no, I wasn't looking at her. I was just looking at the beach and she happened to be there. She must have changed her spot," Partner replied hastily.

She of course had not changed her spot at all. So I politely turned my head towards the horizon and informed Partner that if he checked her out again, I would take my bikini top off as well. He didn't believe me. In fact he laughed at me.
About five minutes later, Partner's head again swivelled towards Topless Chick. Please let me point out that Partner is not a perv. However, he is a man and I have now realised that there's something in men's genes that makes their heads turn involuntarily towards naked breasts.
"You are looking again," I said. Partner grinned apologetically. I smiled and took my top off. A 70-year-old man looking at us nearly had a heart attack.

And Partner's face... Oh, his expression was pure gold. Shock, disbelief, exasperation and finally uncontrolled laughter.

He didn't look at that chick again. Happy ending. (smug)

PS: For future reference, have told Partner that next time I shall ensure that there are younger blokes around and not just a heptagenarian. Also, Partner's mom approves. (grin)
Toon courtesy: cartoonstock.com

21 comments:

Silvara said...

hahahahaha....oh man....i'd have loved to see that :P

you rock!

Sree said...

you are gonna be banned in the middle east!!hahaha.silly.jealous.and very lovable.

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Silvara: next time. promise. :P

@ Sree: wont even repeat it in india...will end up on youtube before you know it. heh.

apathetic bliss said...

hahahahahaha that is too funny!

Swati said...

you just made my day :)

sandeep said...

:)gr8 tip! imagine girls in india starting to follow ur footsteps ;-)

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Sandeep: (if that was sarcasm) only an idiot will read an australian piece and immediately relate it to India. As for girls in India; if they can make MMSes, why not?

@ Swati: ;) pleased to be of service

@ apathetic: :D i call it a taste of their own medicine...

Rajnish said...

Hilarious........and how typical with a very original respons from the lady in the post.....but just thinking what if the man had not looked?

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Woo hoo! You go girl! And if there ever is a next time, do stick to your threat! That will cure him of Noddyitis forever!

Psyched said...

Hahaha... reading this just brought back the ear to ear...

needed this dose...

Eveline said...

LOL!!! If i had to choose someone to hang around for a day with, it'd be you :)

DewdropDream said...

hahahahhahaa!!! You rock!!!

does it really bother you that much, though? I'd prolly have not minded... or maybe I'd have joined in checking out said chick. Maybe just me though :D

Mansi said...

verry nice.. impressed!

Inderjit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MLC said...

LOL! u go girl!

Red said...

tht oughta do the trick...:)....it's true...we men love them womanly assets

Jhoomur aka JB said...

7.58 am

Running late for uni...will come back and respond to all.

And thanks!

@ Red: there are degrees of botheration; more later.
ciao!

TW said...

Lol... that is hilarious!! :)) great shock value...

go-phish said...

i LOVE!!!

the idea

the thought

most importantly, the Action!

i LOVE! :):D

Espèra said...

Haha!!

I'd never have the courage to do something like that. Not even outside India. I'm doubtful I'd ever strip for a doctor either.

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ze bloggherr said...

A perfect world.
hahahahaha