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September 29, 2007

Dear You... And Things I Will Never Ask You

What did I do?
Why weren't you there?
When my body was broken?
Why don't you love me?
Or cradle me when I cry?
Where did I go wrong?
That you don't put your hand on my head?
Why don't you call me?
Just to hear my voice?
Remember, when you hid the butter from me?
Because I was fat?
Why don't you feed me anymore?
Or ask me what I have eaten?
Why don't you have the time?
To just come and be with me?
Do you know I can't sleep at nights?
For my body hurts so bad?
Do you think I asked for it?
Do you think it's Destiny?
Yours or mine?
Why didn't you just take me with you?
To let nothing else happen to me?
Have you given up on me?
Do you not love me... even a little?
Why don't you say anything that makes things seem better?
Not even a kind word?
Why didn't you hold my hand, stand by my side?
When they pushed me away?
Why did you keep quiet?
When others with no right, claimed me?
Why am I not a part of you, as you are a part of me?
Why can't I make you happy... or even a little proud?
What should I do?
Will you let me try?
Do you want to wash your hands off me?
Do you really not care?
To just leave me adrift?
Do you not know that I am scared?
Or my fears don't make sense to you?
Why don't you ever ask me of what scares me?
Why do you sound bored when I tell you?
Is it because I take your time?
Is it the phone bill?
Or you just don't like talking to me...?
Why did you bring me here?
If you did not want me?
Do you wish I was different?
Or that you had another?
Why don't you come gather my brittle, broken pieces?
Will you come gather my body?
Will you cry for me?
Why don't you love me?
And if you don't... who will?

run. run. run. run. run. run. run. run. run. run.
you can't.
no legs.
no strength.
no will.
no want.
no heart.
no soul.
die. die. die. die. die. die. die. die. die. die. die.
you can't.
nothing more to kill.

Mother, I am waiting.
You've been
So late.
I am alone.
-- home, menwhopause


Anonymous said...

And if you don't... who will?
And if someone will....will kill that will
And make them feel like shit
for even having something called love.

Anonymous said...

You suck , no matter how hard you keep "trying" . You are the epitome of absurdity .