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July 30, 2010

Bizarreness of babies...

Despite reading some of the best books on bringing up babies, you (read me) just cannot be prepared for some things.

1. Babies fart louder than adults. Mia beats Partner in the sound and smell department. Baap par gayi hai (scowl). The first time I was soooo shocked; t'was bloody hard correlating the angelic face with THAT sound and the stench.

2. Babies have perfect timing when it comes to spoiling a photograph. One moment perfect photo pose and the next the weirdest expression possible.

3. Babies love contemplating with a tit in their mouth. Mia can do it for 10 minutes at a stretch. Usually at 2 am.

4. Babies are the only creatures who can have someone fiddling with their bums while they stare happily at the ceiling making gurgling noises.

5. Against all medical/scientific evidence, (I insist) babies know exactly what they are doing. They can open their mouths REALLY wide for a boob but would pretend they can't (or won't) when you want them to.

6. Babies have very stinky poos when all they eat/drink is milk. Tis a mystery. (Mia's Nanna calls it "sweet smelling poo". Not!)

7. Babies are devious. They know exactly when Mum is in the bordering-on-deep-sleep zone and therefore decide to make fake choking sounds.

8. Babies have amazing capacity for splatter-shitting...all in, around and out of their nappies, over their bums and then even manage to rub their heels in it. (scowl)

9. Babies have perfect aim. The other night Mia perfectly spewed straight into Partner's left eye. He was shocked, I clapped.

10. Babies are manipulators. Just when you think you might have a teensy breakdown -- after all you're doing so much for a creature that prefers looking at everything else but you -- they start practicing mysterious smiles in their sleep... With the promise you might just get a special one. Some day, soon...

11 comments:

Sharbori said...

awww, so sweet. and what about the milky smell that emanates from their mouth, sometimes along with whatever else they wish to spill out?

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Sharbori: ;) that's one of the few good things! I LOVE sleeping next to her with my nose buried in her neck...her smell relaxes me so much. Have now found Partner doing it too. :)

Anonymous said...

CONGRATULATIONS!
its strange how normal it seems to hear you writing about motherhood.
just.like.that.

:)

so now you have your prince and baby princess too :)
happy life living!

Eve* aka JB said...

@ Anonymous: Hmm. Thank-you... for once an anonymous not spewing hate. Thanks for that as well.

eve's lungs said...

JB - I used to love the smell of baby talc and milk that babies give off . But what are you eating that makes her farts so smelly ?

ps - you're making me feel broody ..sigh .

Espèra said...

Isn't her smell solely due to Johnson's baby products? :P
I always thought it was. :P

Babies sure poop a lot.

Scrambled Mentations said...

So sweet. I am expecting sometime next week. Can't wait to experiance this....
Do post some pictures... Have you thought of any names...

MLC said...

wow! congrats!! she looks like a ttl doll! & sounds like u're hvng sooo much fun w/ the l'il angel!! god bless this cute fmly!:-)

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Awwww!! You're so in lurve!

Sankoobaba said...

wow! so many little things.. you seem to enjoy it and not get irritated by it..

Ashu said...

I love reading your posts :) Don't have a baby yet but this is definitely giving some good ideas of how life would change after I have one....