Still thinking about Multiple Partners: A year later!

For those who don't remember -- which should be most -- certain astrologers had
"predicted" that "if not married" I would certainly find many/a marriage proposal by November. Love would bloom etc too. Dear All and Sundry, it gives me mixed-delight to announce that soon it would be the last day of October. And as of now -- and I really don't see it happening on the last day, it's not a frigging cricket match -- I do not have any marriage proposals. Pleasure in the announcement that I caught them out and did not buy a topaz ring or anything to "nail the deal". Wry smile because am still mingling. The post below was written on October 29th, 2006, last year. And again, it is fucking irritating that not much has changed. Except perhaps for one little factor -- Earlier, I wrote absolutely honestly in my blog-posts. Now I still write honestly, albeit selectively. (Evil grin) Do read.

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Had a tarot card reading sometime last week, my second one, and this time with Doe Eyes in tow. This time too it seems, the ancient card system is intent on predicting a soul-o future for me. Soul-o mind you, not solo. According to both the tarot readers, my future is devoid of any soul mate. But apparently, instead of eternally moping in the doldrums of soul(mate)less singledom, i would be cavorting around with Multiple Partners!

Yes, the idea excited me as well...at least when it was first interpreted from the cards...and perhaps it was my evident delight at such a fate that Tarot Reader 2 quickly re-interpreted the cards to read thus: "You will have multiple partners all your life. In fact, as long as you have multiple partners, you will benefit and be happy. It's only when you will concentrate on one man that things won't be as good." (At this I do a quick jig and let out a loud, "Yea baby", upon which the following is then added to the prediction: "However, the multiple partners will not be at once...one man at a time only.") And I was thinking: oh, she meant multiple MEN all this while... My reading of the entire situation? The tarot readers weren't experimentative enough.

Speaking (decidedly) of men: Tarot Reader 1 further said i would soon be getting a "gentle, sensitive lover" but that I had to "allow him in." I dont exactly have a Do Not Enter sign outside, just that i frequently change the sign to 'Closed Due to Renovation' whenever I see a not-doing-anything-to-me dude...which seems to be happening a little too frequently. Perhaps it goes with being choosy...you dont like a lot of what you see and you dont want to pick whatever you see, no matter how big a bargain it is. And anyway, dont they say that when the bargain is too good, its usually second hand, faulty or stolen?So thanks to my Lets Be Choosy chromosome being recently activated, my current Multiple Partner/Men count is: Nada.

Despite the rather dismal Future Chances of Soul Mate predictions by the two tarot readers, it seems another set of heavenly bodies are somewhat more benevolent towards me. An astrologer and a palmist on two separate occasions -- yes, am developing a particularly macabre fondness for predictive sciences; soon i'd be laying wagers on the various Most Likely Futures Possible For Eve* options --- have said: (a) i would eventually "settle down" and would even give up everything for my man and child and (b) my second big relationship would be a success...but wont be a marriage. Shrug.

What do i make of all this? That i will find Some Suitable Man later in life AFTER I've had my fun making my billions and finding them Multiple Partners/Men. THAT is why i will give up everything once i meet the guy...by then i would have gotten what i want and that is why i would settle..because by then I would have had my fil(s) too. Multiple Partners. Yea baby! So where's that gentle, sensitive lover?

The Shagging Love Song

Fretting here in my studied gloom
Is jes another day spent in purple fumes
I got less time, with many to do
Yet I shag my hand, I'm cravin for you
But nothin ever happens
And I blunder

I'm ridin fine in your arms
I'm ridin you hard, I'm ridin you strong
And it disappears, the vision of you
So I shag my hand, I'm cravin for you
But nothin ever happens
And I blunder

I blunder how, I blunder why
The other day I rode this guy to heaven 'n' nigh
And all I saw was us speeding down the dee-en-dee
The leaves changed from green to brown
And I turn my finger, turn it up, in 'n' around
And all I saw was of us speeding down the dee-en-dee

Isolation is not good for me
Isolation - I don't wanna think of us on the dee-en-dee
I'm dancin' around, using every ploy
Baby anyhow I gotta do another guy
And though much will happen,
It'll be a blunder

(Or whatever.)
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"You hate men?! WHY?" This was not from any anonymous, but an acquaintance of a few shared night outs, amongst hordes of others. Another said on another conveyed chat, "Tell her to go back to the old Eve. She's gone mad."


Hmm. I don't hate men. I write about a particular kind of Men and they do exist. No matter how anyone, very moronically, will first read this blog and then thrash around on the floor in agony. Then while denying any "hatred" towards women, go on to wish me triple penetrations, rape, sodomy, gang-rape and fellatio. (Hain? Fellatio as a way of TIRING a woman? Excuse me. If the woman is angry and claims to have a temper like mine - verifiable by people - why would anyone ask for a blowjob? Or risk it?) Gangrapes, yes, are usually known to kill a woman than merely tire her. Wow. This anonymous person has strong anti-me feelings. And THEN the person claims to be a man AND wonders as to WHY I wrie nastily about men. Or, a particular kind of men.


Oh there are AMAZING men. I have met them too. They are the ones who are around when the nasty boys and the beastie boys have had their way. Most certainly, I have abetted in my own misery very willingly. Many so-called strong people who appear quite cant-ruffle-their-feathers and capable of looking after themselves, change when they (think they) fall in love. I think such people just like the idea of letting go of the control and either looking after someone else or being looked after and therefore lose control of their own vulnerability. They show their weak spots. They give (in). They get fucked-over. Ditto.


Is it strange, that even the AMAZING men who are there in my life have had some sort of Nasty Love Story? It involves the female version of the nasty-boys. At times I wonder, if the beasties hurt me and the good ones are around, WHY doesn't anything work out anywhere? Neither of us are interested. Many of my single, eligible friends have their own set of single, eligible friends and yet, no one dates anyone and everyone remains single and eligible. I suspect they fuck though.


When certain people ask "what's so special here?" (no, it doesn't 'bother' me, I like to be able to answer questions posed to me), I think of the Few Good Men. I think all people should think of them (haha, few good people, not necessary for men to think of men, heh) when questioned by nasties. Science says that for a man and woman to be friends, attraction is a must. Whether you choose to do something about it or not is another matter. I suspect that sometimes opposite-sex friendships are also based on pity, when one lets the other hang around becase (a) it doesn't make a difference to you (b) you like your ego pampered and (c) when you know the other is 'dependent' on you and therefore you apply (a) But the pity-friendships don't last, the stronger person usually pulls out on first signs of trouble. Anyway. I think of my good male-friends and the fact that they are bloody good human beings, intelligent men, funny men, capable men, men with spine AND they are my friends. There HAS to be something special about me to have them around. Likewise for all of us... even one good person in our lives negates any number of Nasties.


Erm. I have already declared that I am a pessimist-trying-to-control-it person. So the corresponding negative-thought to the positive-good-men-like-me-thought would be ---> What if these men have YOU around as a pity-friend, Eve*?`Considered that 'sweety'?" But then I am also a perfectionist and like to cover all loop-holes. Or perhaps I am being a typical woman, typically needing constant validation of affection? Hmm. Let's fucking be positive for this moment at least. That's the problem with losing trust you know, you fucking doubt everything. Even your own positive thoughts.


Blah. This post is supposed to be Positive, or was. Reclaiming positivity... Few Good Men (so far): He got me interested in new words, 'chutzpah' being the first he threw at me. He who offers a conversation and company when most needed and shows me brilliant films. He who spends an idle, ideal day that translates into evening and night and doesn't ask any questions when I shut-up for hours at an end. (also the reason why I should perhaps not go to anymore
parties, I go to sleep.) He who's offered me a roof time and again, without a single motive or me giving anything back, ever. Some strangers who have strangely shielded me from other strangers around when I'm trying to get a drink for myself over the bar... I'm short, I get crowded out. So these strangers would just sort of ward off others, buying me the time to get a drink, smile politely, let me pass. They never touch. It's SUCH a nice feeling.

And club bouncers! Ha, ha, there used to be one at Pluto's (now dead restobar that I frequented on Thursday nights way back in 2000-2003) me thinks, who could raise a brow. I never spoke to him, but when I'd get there and be dancing, he'd keep and eyebrow out for me and would arch it threateningly at any not-so-nice company around me. He was my personal Rock. Heh. Uff. I'm digressing into stories... Or he who calls randomly, messages randomly, checks on me and I always make a promise of calling back and follow through religiously by not doing so. And so on and so forth. Can't write anymore, somehow, these stories are more personal.

PS: Notes to self
Romantic: Men don't like you.
Cynic: Yes, I know. (scowl) Aren't you supposed to be dead?
Ghost Romantic: I'm haunting you. Besides, what are you going to do about men not liking you?Cynic: Nothing. Shrug.
GR: Writing 'shrug' is not cool, by the way.
Cynic: shrug.
GR: You are SUCH a teenager. What do you mean nothing?
Cynic: There are some things you can do nothing about...
GR: Stop being mysterious, doesn't suit you. You're very bad at it...
Cynic: Shrug. Like the sun rises from the east. You can do nothing even if your room is placed anti-Feng Shui directions.
GR: You're trying to be cool again.
Cynic: Yes. Shrug. At least I try. Somethings can be changed, somethings can't. Men don't like me. Period.
GR: Hmm...
Cynic: Dy'er maker...
GR: Medicine...
Cynic: Let's go sleep.