Can you speak English too?

Was browsing around when I came across this post about how people are surprised that Indians CAN speak good English. hahaha. That got me thinking, these were the things -related-to-English-speaking that I've been hearing for a while...

"Oh my god, you speak Queens English! Even we British dont speak it" --- we know, we know.
"You have an accent, how charming." Right, indians DO have an accent, and it is not charming.
"So you learnt english in high school or university?"
"English is the first language in school?"
AND THE BEST YET...
"Your dog understands commands in English!"
Yesssir...in Hindi, Punjabi (he understands bhosedeekay) and Bangla. Since the cook is Nepali, i have a feeling he understands 'syano kutta' too.

Interestingly, also came across a profile on Orkut that seems to be the master of Hinglish/Pinglish/Confuselish or whatever-else you wanna call it...
(Supposed) Father of Pinglish (in denial though)
http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=12481557967241020643

Show me the F****g Compatibility ;)

(3.53pm on Sunday, sits in maroon, knee-length negligee, deep V-neck with a teensy black bow at the cleavage. Sips coffee, smokes her cigarette, types out post, which is supposed to be sung as a Blues number, if only could remember the song, so hums along... as pup sleeps a little farther away, growing into a dog with leaps and bounds and gradually descending balls.)

So I met someone rather interesting the other day;
We both were crazy about the movies.
Three days talking cinema, and some generous attention to my boobies;
He still spoke Bogart and Bacaul, or changed the flavour with Macaulay,
Now am a patient woman, but too much deeveedee gets me gray.
So that's when I took off and said,
"honey you got the ability, but show me the fucking compatibility."

Then I bumped into this hunk, who swore his ceevee boasted his libido.
Now that's an area of interest for me, so I chose patience and perhaps a dekho;
He said he liked my cleavage, I said I liked it too.
I said boy you got something to show as well,
Well. He boasted some more and thought THAT was swell!
So that's when I took off and said,
"honey you got the ability, but show me the fucking compatibility."

And the Dude who just LOVES animals...
And informs he doesn't glance at a woman's genitals.
And I thought, Hey that's cool, a nice change of pace,
From having to scream at men, my chest is not my face.
But then he did not believe in pre-marital sex,
And for once, I really re-considered my Ex.
So that's when I took off and said,
"Honey you got the ability, but show me the fucking compatibility."

So now am on the look out, with a trust in my own sensibilities;
Many can fuck and then some, but He, would need to have the fucking compatibility.